TWO MONTHS

2 months old?!?!?!? Say what? Yep. Thing 1 & Thing 2 have not only finally passed their due date, but they are already 2 months old!!!!!! I can't believe it. 

They are, though, still much like newborns thanks to their 8 week prematurity. But, I look at it as longer to keep them little! ;) 

They should both pass 7 lbs in the coming days! The size Kamden was at birth. 

Right now, the things we notice about them is: 

-Jaxon's eyes! They're huge! Love his big eyed look like he's wowed about everything. 

-He also sleeps with his eyes open so we joke that his eyes are so big that his eyelids must not be long enough to cover them! 

-He makes the best kissy face tho it hasn't made its appearance much lately. Growing up!?? :( 

-He has to be touching someone nearly all the time. Sometimes his brother will do but sometimes only mommy or daddy can work their magic. Either way, he's definitely a cuddler and spoiled already because of it. ;) 

-Jaden's stretches and facial expressions are too cute.

-He's like the (almost) laid back baby I never had. Ironically, he came buy one get one free with a typical Cockayne baby who needs a little extra attention. So I'll never really know what it's like to have one of those newborn stages where the baby is just chill. 

Even tho I joke about their fussiness, they're all around easier babies than the girls were. That combined with the fact that mom and dad are far more laid back makes this one of my favorite seasons in life. Despite the sheer exhaustion and the million and one doctor's visits snd hospital stays. 

Happy Two Months Baby Boys! 

JAXON sleeping with his eyes open for the .5 seconds that he let me lay him down to rest this morning. ;) 

JADEN drifting off practically on his own with just a couple reinserts of the pacifier. 

The Day I Lost My Mind

I thought I should blog, on this, the last day that I had even a taste of sanity. 

After 6 straight weeks of continuous help- GiGi and then MAWMAW & PAWPAW- I will venture out into the world of parenting infant twins, homeschooling the original thing 1 & thing 2, as Jason begins a two week Hindi intensive and continues in every day life and ministry, and, believe it or not, the very same day my parents leave, my house helper takes a one month vacation for her wedding! 

So, if you don't hear from me in the next couple of days, send out a search party! 

In all honesty, Though, I am feeling confident and prepared thanks to the amazing help we had getting us started on the right foot, organized, and ready. We're gonna miss MawMaw and pawpaw's extra set of hands, but we're gonna miss their presence FAR more! 

My favorite moments were when my mom would just come and sit with me while I nursed or pumped. Always with a glass of water in hand. :) 

And when my dad made hospital stay after hospital stay with us for what seems like the most unusual trip to India one could ask for. 

It's another awesome and memorable visit for the books! And, about tomorrow...

WHAT DOESNT KILL YOU MAKES YOU STROGER! ;) 

One Foot in Front of the Other

December 5, 2014

If you'd told me a year ago all the things this year would bring I probably wouldn't have believed you. You see, going into this expat thing I always thought the one place satan would attack would be our marriage. And don't get me wrong, there were a few moments when I thought I may have been right. 

But by God's grace that's the one area of our life that has only grown stronger. I never expected satan to attack so strongly physically or in other various ways. And yet sitting where we are now: Kamden's seizures and various health issues, an uprooting, a new city, Kamden's surgery, Jason's back injury and surgery, a high risk pregnancy, lice, emergency c section, nicu stay, and now Jaxon's upcoming blood transfusion, which is terrifying, and surgery--- I believe now more than ever before that this is exactly where we're supposed to be. 

So many of you have said to me "you're so strong etc ..." But hear me loud and clear when I say 

WE ARE NOT STRONG! 

In no way are we strong. I feel WEAK. It is literally as God's word says, he offers grace for the moment that we need it. I often feel like I am simply putting one foot in front of the other. And that's all I have to offer. One foot and then the next. I can't offer any brave smile or spectacular faith, just that next step. That's all I've got. 

So just like when they said "we need to take the babies" and when they said "JAXON needs Surgery" and when they told me his hemogoblin was low and he would require a blood transfusion, and when I stepped into and then out of the car on the way to the hospital this morning to hand my baby over into someone else's care, I literally couldn't look past the very next step I had to take. 

And I guess that's it. One foot in front of the other. Because realistically I can't turn and run. That's what I want to do. I want to take my baby and run. But i would be causing him more harm than good. So we do what we must. And we realize yet again that not a drop of this is under our control anyway. 

One Month- Gumdrops & Lollipops 11-18-14

Wow. I don't even know where to begin to describe the last month of my life. Actually, were it for a different post I would have to say the last year of my life. It. Has. Been. A. Doozie.

But today I'm only recapping what I can of maybe my favorite season of life to date. 

Now, don't read that wrong. I didn't say easiest or even most enjoyable. But favorite. Favorite, not because it's been a bed of roses. Quite the opposite, actually. But because it's been real life covered with a big OL warm blanket of grace! 

These boys. These boys have changed my life nearly from the moment I knew they existed. 

And they continue to do so. They continue to remind me to remain calm. To live in the moment. To enjoy even the difficulties. Because more than ever before I realize that these precious times are fleeting.

These guys make me want to go back in time and take back all the childish temper tantrums I threw back when I would wake up five or six times a night with my girls during their first years. 

Don't get me wrong. I have already had nights filled with tears and cries of "Lord! What am I doing wrong?!?" But I've also had nights of such sweetness with my boys. Or one restless fella at a time. And the ever present phrase ringing thru my ears "Babies Don't Keep". 

The Adventures of a Dream Come True- Part 2

Where did I leave off? Oh, yes, the kick counts.  Here I am, counting kicks nearly every hour, knowing good and well that kick counts are very difficult when there are TWO babies.  But, I simply tried to rest assured when I would feel movement in just about all four corners and about 20 per hour.

Starting Friday I began to feel a significantly less amount of movement.  But, I tried not to overreact. Then, my new routine of 4AM kick counts.  And, still, less movement.  Saturday morning, I was PRETTY convinced I should go on in for an ultrasound, but, again, didn't want to overreact.  But, we went ahead.

After I arrived and the Dr. felt both heartbeats, I started feeling kind of silly.  Like, all was going to be well and they would send me home to wait it out some more.  I ALMOST said "let's just go.  I'm sure it's nothing".  But, I waited.

First Ultrasound: Jaxon was moving and grooving as usual.  Not a budge from Jaden.
Second Ultrasound: same

Dr. Grover sent me to wait two hours, eat, then re-scan.  So we waited.  And, then...
Third Ultrasound: still nothing.

So, we went into the Doctor's office and her assistant said, "Dr. Grover wants to go ahead and take the babies."  And. The. Tears. Fell. And Fell. And Fell.

We called the parents and told a few people and headed up to the room.

Oh, that room.  The nurses were SO off their game.  It was so chaotic.  Things were falling, equipment wasn't working.  They're monitoring only one baby and it was the WRONG baby! It was truly a disaster.  And I'm thinking to myself, "Is this a joke???"

I knew right then and right there that God was asking me to trust SOLELY in HIM to the bitter end! And even knowing exactly what He was asking of me, and knowing that He COULD be trusted, I climbed onto that rolling bed and said one more time out loud "I'm SCARED!"

They rolled me into the Operating Theater (who ever knew it was called a Theater? I sure didn't.  I mean, really, is this just a candid camera or something!;)  And, they told Jason to stop at the door and we both shouted "NO!"  Jason told them firmly, "Wherever you take my wife, I go!"  So they stopped everything, sent him to change, sadly took his camera, and then we continued.

And, would you believe that the minute we rolled through that door, it was like everyone got serious!  It was all the top notch best they had to offer in that room.  And they were on point!  I began to see that God had taken care of all the details.

That didn't stop me from having a hard time breathing... or from singing (mostly at the top of my lungs) for the entire surgery "The Lord is my Shepherd..."  And I waited ever so impatiently to hear that first beautiful sound... Jaden's first cry!  Then Jaxon's.  Then to see them both ever so briefly before they rushed them off to NICU.

That surgery took close to 3 hours because of the extent of my placenta previa.  And Dr. Grover worked her heart out making sure all was well before she went home.

I'm thankful now for that experience.  That God left me feeling empty handed before He made His plan known.

We continued on quite the journey as we learned to deal with NICU staff and continue to learn to do so.  But, God brought us through those moments and we have nothing but gratitude to offer back to Him....

and two really cute boys! ;)

-The 4 Cokes

The Adventures of a Dream Come True- Part 1

By now, if you read my blog, you know I'm a worrier.  It's something God is constantly growing me out of, but it rears its ugly head.  Most often I know deep down in my heart that everything is going to work out.

But, we didn't share with many people the seriousness of the last few weeks of this pregnancy.  And how God used that time to really force me to rely solely on Him.  I'm super excited to share our story of God's work in our life.

Pregnant: check!  In India: check! With twins: check!  Sounds like plenty to me! Nope, not to God.

Placenta Previa: check!
Within some time it was discovered I had complete placenta previa.  This is a rather serious thing because should the placenta be delivered first, the baby or I could be lost.  Thankfully, my Dr. took this VERY seriously and watched me very closely as we neared the end of our pregnancy.  Should anything happen I was to come in immediately.

Early Labor: check!
At 29 weeks 5 days (you'll notice a pattern of these guys liking to party on Saturdays!!!), I went to the hospital with early labor pains.  I was put on bedrest and given meds to start should I need them.  Bedrest held me off one more week.

More Early Labor: check!
One week later, on another Saturday night, they decided to try again.  I think they had big plans! ;) But, with a few days of meds, we held them off.

ICP: check!
Now, it begins to get serious.  And something I'm really excited about sharing because it seems as if it's a pregnancy symptom that is not very well known.  ICP (intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy) is when pregnancy hormones cause your liver to stop removing acid bile.  It causes you to be itchy ALL over.

I woke up morning having itched the WHOLE night! I went in for an appointment, and my Dr. wrote it off as allergic reaction to labor-stopping meds, and gave me something to clear up the symptoms.  But I just didn't feel right about that.  (Worry?? Or instinct??) I went home and searched the web for "Third Trimester Itching".  Two things came up: Pupps (harmless rash) and ICP (very harmful without rash).  I continued to research symptoms and I happened to have many more of them as well.

ICP is only found in 1/1000 Americans but your chances are quadruple when you are carrying multiples.  I called my OB ASAP and she said, "yes this is common in pregnancy." (Truly, it turns out in Asian ethnicity it is as common as 1/70).  So, I went straight in.  ICP is considered FATAL to the babies after a certain stage in the pregnancy.  In singletons, that stage is usually 37 weeks, but it is truly unknown when things can take a turn for the worse.  In twin pregnancies, it can happen sooner.  Here's the deal: the ONE test that can be done to see how your acid bile levels are holding up, IS NOT DONE IN INDIA!!!!!! We suddenly fell into what felt like a game of Russian Roulette with when to take these babies.  So many kindhearted people cheering and praying for us to keep them baking as long as possible, while we knew the outcome could be fatal!  

During that week or so of such uncertainty, I had to voice out loud some of my fears.  It was the scariest time in my life.  God gave me songs, verses, words of encouragement, and reminders that HIS will is always better than our own, but I was so afraid of what that meant!  It was definitely one of the most defining seasons of my life!

AFTER finding that out and continuing to wrestle with it,

GESTATIONAL DIABETES: check!
Seriously???? A late diagnosis of gestational diabetes means its gone unmonitored and could have consequences as well.

OH MY WORD!!!!!  So, after some deliberating, it was decided with a group of really patient medical help, that an airplane trip at this stage of pregnancy wasn't very promising either.  So, we stayed put.  And we waited.  And I spent just about every moment doing kick counts.

I'll save the rest for part two, but for now: God brought me to my lowest.  I needed him the most.  I was being taught one of life's hardest lessons, to REST SOLELY in HIM!  Many tears were cried, many moments of fear, waiting for His plan to pan out.  And, it was one of the most memorable seasons of my life.

"For I know the plans I have for you..." says the Lord.

-The 4 Cokes

Thoughts of a Very Scared Pregnant Lady

15 October 2014

I've never been so afraid of losing something in my life. I can't think of a time I've feared so strongly. Last trimester of twin pregnancy and now dealing with: placenta previa, ICP, gestational diabetes, and early labor to go along with twin pregnancy.

I'm scared. Too many factors. So much unknown. And I'm sitting in a place and asking God "Why here?" "Why not closer to better medical care?" I've self diagnosed most of these issues just by being an avid researcher. Yes. Worry is wrong. But in this case, looking for the reason for the intense itching led me to ICP which can be dangerous in the last weeks of pregnancy. Thank you, Lord, for guiding me to it. Once again, You've never left me alone. 

And, so, this AM, it was decided that we must sit still, wait, and TRUST in the Only One whom we can trust!  

So, now, after a long stretch of feeling like I just can't go to God's Word, now, I'm begging Him for comfort, reassurance that He is Who He says He is. 

And, yet, in the back of my mind, I'm reminded constantly that His plans aren't always the same as mine and instead of taking comfort in that, I FEAR! Because I know the truth that, yes, in the end, He will be glorified, but in this moment I'm terrified of what that means. 

In the recent days and weeks, these have been my comfort: 

Psalm 62:1-2 "I am at rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I will never be shaken." 

The song Restless by Audrey Assad has been a great reminder that if I do not rest in Him, I cannot find comfort. 

Proverbs 3: 5-8 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths. Don’t consider yourself to be wise; fear the Lord and turn away from evil. This will be healing for your body and strengthening for your bones."

Psalm 65: 5,8 

"You answer us in righteousness, with awe-inspiring works, God of our salvation, the hope of all the ends of the earth and of the distant seas.

Those who live far away are awed by Your signs; You make east and west shout for joy."

"there's no place that we can't find peace."

Jason just introduced me to yet another song that will carry me through this difficult time of waiting: It Is Well by Bethel Music.

I've failed, quite honestly, to rely on Him. I've spent countless hours researching, digging, fearing, worrying. But He is faithful still. He forgives. And He brings us to our knees. As He's doing it now. 

So we wait. And we pray. And we depend on the prayers of those who can pray when we can't. 

And we long to see the faces and hold those beautiful baby boys that have been given to us by Him! 

Learning to Take Refuge

The time was 4AM.  I woke up yet again to use the restroom (what pregnant lady doesn't).  But this time I couldn't go back to sleep.  Worry was setting in again.

These babies.  They don't do a lot of moving when I'm lying down.  I'm hoping and praying that means they'll be good sleepers and nothing else.  But, sitting up, I can usually feel them on the go again.  So, I got out of bed and went to the chair where I could sit and check on them.

There I sat.  Praying some.  Worrying some.  Chatting some with friends in different time zones.  And reading through the Psalms some.

I came across a verse that spoke my name.  You see, this entire time I've said OVER and OVER that His ways are higher than our ways... BUT that that is exactly what scares me!  That He never promised he would bring these babies into the world safe and sound, but that He would be glorified.  That truth is sometimes paralyzing for me.  I truly believe that should something go different than I would desire, that EVENTUALLY I would be ok.  I would be more than ok and that possibly I'd get to see His good in it this side of Heaven.  But I have never been ok with the right now of that truth.

So, I came to Psalm 18, and this was the verse that I needed to read... and TRUST:

"His way is perfect: the word of the Lord is pure.  He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him." Psalm 18:30

You see... the missing link.  Oh, I've trusted all along that His way is perfect.  But, it has caused me to fear rather than to take refuge! And this verse clearly states that He is a shield to all who take REFUGE in Him.  I just have to trust that He knows best and that that is a GOOD thing! Not something to fear!

He's using all of this madness to work on my heart.  Pray for me, that I would let Him have His perfect way.


The 4 Cokes

Babies' Nook

We did it! Well, Jason mostly did it! ;) With a ton of help from YOU!!! We are SO thankful to be able to say that our home is officially ready-ish for the babies to make their arrival (minus some other small necessities)! Now, don't get me wrong, we do indeed hope they keep themselves tucked away a little longer, but we are thankful to be finished with most of the logistics as to where they are going to live! And, we could NOT have done it without so many sweet people sending, purchasing, or bringing things for us literally from all over the world! SO, THANK YOU!!!!

Here it is:

(a little 'room' off of our bedroom that was put there just for us, we presume!) :)

A little curtain entry to their space

The concrete shelves were already there.  We had the wooden  ones added for some organization.  I was in charge of clothes placement, because, just like food, Jason doesn't do baby clothes placement! ;) 

Sweet little baby beds!  Thank you SO much for carrying these over for us,  FBC!

We do have some small pieces of wall art on the way that hasn't been added yet. 

32 weeks

Two little dreams come true inside! Can't wait to hold them in my arms!

Last night, Jason prayed over the room and asked God's blessing on these sweet little guys and their new little room.  Let the newest Coke adventure begin!

-The 4 Cokes

152 Things Never to Say to A Person Who Wears Orange Knee Socks with Neon Green Tennis Shoes

I've been looking for just the right verse for quite some time.  I just KNEW it was in there, but I wasn't sure where.  Well, today, I happened upon it!

Proverbs 12:16 "The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult."

Surely you've seen these titles floating across your newsfeed: "21 Things Never to Say to A ______", 7 Things Not to Say to A _______", "15 Things You Should Never Say to A ________".

I've read a lot of them.  Because I want to learn as much as possible about people who feel strongly enough about something to share tips on how best to address the situation.  But, I'll be honest, as I'm reading most of them it has become overwhelming, like "Well, then what CAN I say in love?" All the while, I've felt uneasy about these topics being strewn all over Facebook feeds and almost making people out to be bad guys if they don't know the exact right thing to say to each individual person.  (because let's be real, every one is going to have a slightly different opinion of what should or should not be said). It's as if we are making ourselves out to be lions ready to pounce anyone who asked about our neon green tennis shoes & orange socks out of sincerity and yet apparently has no idea how to speak to someone who owns neon green tennis shoes & orange socks! (or even worse, we don't pounce, we just talk about them behind their backs)

When I read Proverbs 12:16, I knew the exact reason this was bothering me.  As believers, we should wear thick skin.  We should give people the benefit of the doubt.  We should be willing to set aside comments made in sincerity that maybe weren't the exact things we would have liked to have been told.

The truth is: we are all just doing the best we can! And, more often than not, when someone speaks to someone else about a sensitive topic--- IT'S BECAUSE THEY CARE!!!

And, I've discovered in my own life, when I'm easily offended about something... It turns out it's because I'm struggling with bitterness or uncertainty or insecurity or some other type of issue regarding that topic. So, it turns out, the offense isn't on the other person... It's on me!

Now, You might say, "But what about the people who really were just being insensitive, unkind, or downright rude?" (Because we all know there are people like that out there!)  Have we stopped to consider that they need GRACE just like we do!!!

So, rather than listing out (and often these lists are written in a very demeaning manner) what NOT to say, why don't I search my own heart and see if there be any wicked way in me.  Why not? Because we are born sinners.  And passing the blame for the way we are feeling inside is so much easier.  And, expecting everyone to cater to our inner feelings (which often haven't been verbalized so that they can cater) is also just another example of our sinful nature.

On an even more personal note:

1) I used to get my feelings hurt so easy! And take too many kind gestures as an insult or a cutdown.  But through my husband's strong leading, I've been able to make a turn toward trying my best to see the situation through the other person's eyes.  And it's super rewarding.
2) I often avoid trying to empathize with people on sensitive topics, because I know how easily it can come across as trying to 'one up' their difficult situation.  And I know often our pride does cause us to simply 'one up' people's stories.  But, remembering again to see the best in the other person is always the best option.
3) I was surprised at myself during this season in my life (bed rest, placenta previa, feeling lost in a foreign medical system) how incredibly uplifting and encouraging it has been to have people call, message, send notes and simply say "I UNDERSTAND! I've been there" or just share their war stories with successes and offer up a kind word of encouragement.  None of them have felt like a 'one up' and every one of them has come across as such a humble, thoughtful, encouragement.  "How can I pray for you?" "I've been there" "I feel your pain"... So, THANK YOU!!!!!
4) Lastly, when I looked up the definition of 'vexation', I was heavily convicted.
          vexation: the state of being annoyed, frustrated, or worried.
And there you have it!  WORRIED falls into the same category as being annoyed and frustrated.  Ouch! Guilty!!!

Can we be a prudent people? Ignoring insults and thinking the best in others! What a burden-lifter to be able to just be real with one another and do the best we can!

-The 4 Cokes

Proverbs 3:7-8

He's Working On Me!!!

Today and yesterday have taken their toll physically (our bodies were made to move and therefore, don't feel that great in long term idle positions), emotionally, and spiritually.

First, I'm amazed at the way the Lord truly is carrying us through a pretty difficult time... My bed rest & Jason's back being the two major issues, other little funsies under that.  And, I'm thankful that He's revealing the good amidst the not so great, too.

But, that being said, and being quite honest, I have been rather idle spiritually, sort of at a loss, and, well, it's no secret that I'm quite the worrier.  So... today I think all of it came to a head... not feeling good physically, like the crunching your toes, tensing your muscles, but not even exactly sure why, not feeling good.  And, I've had sleep issues- what pregnant lady doesn't ;).

So, all of that takes a toll on a person, especially one who's just not putting in the quality time with the only One who can heal these things.

Finally, I sat down and said "enough is enough" and I broke out God's Word and breathed a prayer of "Lord, I come to  you..." Which reminded me, of course, of the amazing song "Power of Your Love". I sent a quick message to a few people that I knew would pray for me, listened to the song which spoke straight to my heart, and then opened God's Word.  And, what did He do other than exactly what He always does: convict and encourage.

I try to read a Proverbs a day, so I opened to Proverbs 3.  And, would you believe that the very verses that we all know by heart, are the ones that spoke to me today.  Namely, verse 7:

"Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart form evil".

I stopped dead in my tracks and realized that I am being far too wise in my own eyes: internet searches for every side effect under the sun to any of the issues I'm currently dealing with, diagnosing myself and my babies ahead of time with everything possible that could go wrong, just all out exactly what that verse says not to do.  And then it hit me...

THIS IS EVIL!!!! What??? Evil??? I am in no way evil!!! Who me???

Yes! Evil.  Because the Bible clearly states that sin is sin.  And taking things in my own hands, or overly worrying over things that simply aren't truth, or imagining that I know better than God, and that whatever He chooses to hand to me could possibly even be considered 'wrong' is, in itself evil!

And, ya know what, the next verse revealed exactly what I'll receive if I do choose to fear the Lord and depart from evil:

"It will be HEALING to your flesh, and REFRESHMENT to your bones"! Yes!!! Just exactly what I'm currently in need of! Well, no wonder I've been feeling so bad!

I immediately felt a weight lifted off my shoulders! I don't have to carry the burden of this pregnancy, this bed rest, this placenta previa, these babies, possible NICU time, none of it! It is not mine to carry!  And, who am I to think that I know best?  Again, who am I to think that anything the Lord chooses to hand me is anything less than His best!

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to PROSPER you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE." Jeremiah 29:11

Right there it is! His plans far exceed mine! He knows what's best! And, I must choose to rest in that, day in and day out.

I really found a gem today! The reminder that, all in all, He is in control! And what He has for me must be what's best!  I've had these thoughts on my mind for quite some time, but choosing to place my trust in them, well, that comes and goes.  And today was a great reminder of just how true these things are!

I can step into each day knowing and resting in the fact that HE IS GRACIOUS, LOVING, & KIND!   And, He knows and has known since before time began about these sweet babies' lives.  It's up to me whether I choose to take Him at His word!

Oh, and the icing on the cake... no house helper = no wholesome food when mom is down and out, so guess what I just happened to find in the fridge! A whole bag of homemade granola bars that no one realized was in there! Score!!!  Healing to my flesh, refreshment to my bones! ;)

-The 4 Cokes

A Few Noteworthy Moments

October 3, 2014

I have lots of places I write down memorable moments, quotes, or things I want to remember, but I'm trying to mainstream all of that because of the horrible memories of losing ALL the info for my girls' baby books that I had saved on the computer. :( I won't think on that because then I'll be sad all over again. 

So, for my most recent memorable moments:

Kiley, you are growing in your faith in such an exciting way. By being perfect? No. Quite the contrary. By recognizing your sin and feeling remorse for it. I'm proud of you that you recently have acknowledged times you've been just plain hateful/jealous of your little sister, and, in tears, apologized to her. I'm so excited to watch God work in your heart.  And, the sweet, sensitive, servant's heart you've exhibited especially since mommy's bedrest has made my heart swell with pride. Your tea, by the way, knocks mine out of the park!

I have to write this down because one day you'll want to remember this if only to prove me wrong. ;) We just can't forget the cake episode. You came home almost in hysterics because daddy did eenie, meenie, miney, mo for which cake we would use for the baby shower, and... Kamden's choice won! I told you that you wouldn't remember in a hundred years, but you're welcome... Because of this blog, you just might. 

*but, you must admit it was pretty delicious! 

Kamden, 

You are growing up with a worldview so different from the one your mommy and daddy knew as a child. 

Tonight, you walked the streets and Came home upset about the idol worshipping that was going on so loudly around us. But your understanding of it was so mature: "mommy. We couldn't just stay and watch them bc then they might think we're saying Good job! And we couldn't get mad at them for it because they don't know!"  

And, Kamden, your even knowing what an idol is reveals your world view. We were reading in a book and the author wrote "my boyhood idol" and you stopped me and said "idol?!!?" Because that, to you, simply means a statue that people who don't know Jesus worship. Sadly, you'll soon learn, many things are idols even in the 'Christian' world. But, you know what, it makes sense that actually only people ignorant of the cross should have idols. Those of us who are exposed, know the truth, and heaven forbid, even call ourselves Christians, should not have room for idols in our hearts. But, alas, we do. And how then do we reach the millions who have never even heard the name of Jesus when the ones who are so-called worshipping Him are in all actuality worshipping themselves?!! 

I don't know God's plans for your all's lives. More and more I'm convinced that this life you're living is doing you far more good than harm. That the challenges you face on a daily basis are preparing you to be more dependent on your Savior, more reliant on His grace.

What I do know is that my only desire for you is to love God, love people, and teach people to love God. Whatever that looks like in your life's context, let it be.

I'm excited about our future together. And how this next adventure is going to grow you and change you in a million tiny ways. I'm thankful God's plans are so much higher than our plans, because quite honestly, I certainly couldn't have done it better myself. ;) 

 

हाँ यीशु मेरा प्यार है (as translated by Kamden)

The many emotions tied to my heart and mind right now are downright paralyzing at times. One of the many is feeling like my time with the girls has changed overnite with this new status of bedrest. Don't get me wrong: I am THANKFUL they are learning our family is a team. We work together. When one person is down the others jump in to pick up the slack. And they are joyful little helpers!  And, truthfully, in my heart of hearts, I know they are all the better for walking through this time with us.

But, a mommy's worries are just that: worries. And may I add, wrong. And I know that.

So, why He chooses to show me glimpses of what He's doing in their hearts in spite of me, I will never understand!

Tonight, Kamden walked into my room and said with a huge smile, "I have good news!" "What is it?" I asked. "I know Jesus loves me in Hindi!"  Now, how could I resist hearing her version even if it was after bedtime? And if you know the very windy road we've traveled with her and her relationship with this country, every moment she embraces the culture is worth celebrating!

So, she sang. And I asked her where she learned it. She didn't. She wrote it herself. Translating English songs into Hindi and then declaring that we should teach it to the village kids. I'll take that as good news anytime! Sweet sweet Kamden. God has BIG plans for your life! I could just squeeze her!

Disclaimer: if you know Hindi, her grammar is a little off, but, the Truth remains the same!

-The 4 Cokes

The Infamous Bloody Nose

On this, my second day of bed rest, I have for all of you a funny story.  Since, well, I have nothing else to do!  You'd think bed rest would be a time to catch up on all the sleep you've missed out on up to this point in pregnancy, but, no, it doesn't exactly work out like that!

First, a few pros and cons to bed rest from my point of view:
Pros: SWELLING DISAPPEARS!!!!!!! I saw the joints in my feet for the first time in about 20 weeks yesterday! It was an unbelievable sight! The girls were amazed!  I must say I felt like dancing! But, alas, I'm not allowed!

Cons:
-Heartburn at its worst.  Duh... lying down, eating food, doesn't mix when there's not much room left in there.
-The image that the word 'bed rest' portrays is far from what it really entails.  I vividly remember taking care of an elderly lady my senior year of college who was on permanent bed rest.  Yeah, we took care of her bed sores for her.  My point exactly! ;) If my hips survive lying on them all the time then I'll be dandy! ;)
-we also happen to have painters in the home this week to get ready for said babies' arrival and well, that means sleeping in my own room is a no go.  So, I'm technically on couch rest for a while until all the fumes are gone.

One amazing pro, tho, is that God has placed us here for such a time as this.  We had no idea that my pregnancy would come to this.  Nor how much we would be dependent upon our house helper.  She is making sure we have three meals a day on the table, washing baby clothes, and manning the house and the number of times the bell rings each day!

And, of course, the girls have been tremendous little helpers and Daddy was trained in the homeschooling schedule today.  (Which, btw, he carried out with expertise, much better than I do, I might add.)

So, all in all, I'm incredibly grateful for the way all of this has panned out.  If it must be this way, then at least God is making it happen peacefully.

Now, about that funny story!  Well, as most of you know, during pregnancy often you can get bloody noses.  I did a few times yesterday actually.  So, it reminded me of my first pregnancy, with Kiley, and the hilarious story that ensued from a bloody nose:

I was invited to attend a late night Christmas party at a teacher friend's house when I was about 32 weeks pregnant.   Jason took me, dropped me off, and then came back to get me.  Well, on the way back home at about 2AM, he decided to take a road he wasn't the least bit familiar with.  So we set off and drove slowly and carefully around the very curvy backroads of WV.  Our first road block was a deer! So we swerved to miss it and continued on.  We were driving extremely slow due to fog, new roads, deer, etc.  A car happened upon us pretty fast and we pulled over to let him by.  It was a cop.  We waved and he went on.  Then, to my surprise, I got a nose bleed.  So... at this point you have: a swerving car, a nose bleed, and a burning up driver who just wants to get his jacket off while he drives so his arms are flailing all around as I try to help him take off his jacket and hold a tissue on my nose at the same time.  A strange sight, you can imagine, if seen from behind through only headlights of your car.

Another car speeds up, and we pull over for it again.  This time, it pulls over too.  It was a cop!  He asks all the typical questions and we are quite perplexed being that we've been driving incredibly slow and following all the safety rules!  He then shines the light in my face, glaring at my bloody nose, and says "Ma'am! Are you alright?????"  I understood immediately what was going on.  He thought Jason was beating me! (remember: swerving, flailing arms, bloody nose, oh, and very pregnant passenger).  SO I just start throwing out all the information I could think of "Sir! I'm fine! I was at a "Christian" party, and my husband came to pick me up... I'm pregnant... I get nose bleeds.  Everything is fine!"

He gave a very long and thoughtful glare and then let us go.  As we were pulling away I mentioned how I felt kind of sorry for him.  How, if I weren't telling the truth, he would feel guilty for not checking deeper into the situation.  But, Jason, on the other hand, had never caught on to what was happening.  He wondered why I would feel sorry for some guy that pulled us over for no reason! When it finally clicked, we had a good laugh about the time Jason got pulled over for bloodying my nose!

-The 4 Cokes

Baby Update!

Just a quick update on thing one and thing two. I am 29 weeks 5 days. I went to the doc today out of precaution. Something told me I needed to check on the amniotic fluid and I figured (with a few friends' help) better safe than sorry.

Amniotic flood is golden. No worries. But she went ahead and gave me a dose of the steroid injection to develop babies' lungs now should I go into preterm labor. (Babies are measuring about a week to a week and a half bigger, as it is, according to ultrasound.)

But she also broke the news to me that, at this point, should nothing change, I will require a c-section because one placenta is blocking the cervix and therefore would be delivered first and I would bleed excessively resulting in very grave consequences.

Here's the deal. I'm at peace with that. I've been prayng from the get go that IF a c-section were necessary that it would become obvious early on and NOT in the middle of labor where we are left to make decisions or trust a doctor on very little brain power.

I would LOVE to deliver these twins naturally, meds free, like both my girls, but I went into this knowing and preparing for something different to happen. Don't get me wrong: I am not excited about this alternative. But trusting. And thankful that the word is out there now rather than later.

I'm surprisingly (right now) content with leaving this in God's hands. Should he decide to allow that placenta to move up and try for normal, so be it. But if not, more power to Him (LOL- like I have the authority to say so). ;)

So there ya have it. One thing you CAN be praying for is that these babies hold off! We are indeed still in need of some preparation. Some things (and hopefully people!) To arrive from the States. And we also want them to bake a little longer to avoid any pre term issues that we can.

There ya have it. The4cokes may become a 6 pack before we know it! And with that, off to dream about making that dream a reality. Holding two precious, beautiful dreams come true in my arms!

-The 4 Cokes

Were It Not for Grace

After a very candid conversation with Kiley last night in the quietness of her room as her little sister slept, I came out and then melted into a heap of tears.  As I type, the tears flow again.  Why? Because of the guilt of my own sin.  The thing is, I feel like the theme in my life these past few months has been GRACE.  Learning to give it to my children (through a book I was halfway reading called "Give them Grace"), learning to give it to others (not spazzing out when done wrong but instead trying to see things through the others' point of view), and learning to recognize the abundance of grace poured out  on me by my amazing Savior, God of the Universe.  So, grace has sort of become my life theme for this season.

That is, except when it means offering that same grace to myself! I realized last night that I'm willing to offer grace to those around me so much more freely than I'm willing to offer it to myself.  (and that's not really saying much seeing as how I'm a big time 'first impressions/discerning' type of a person.  So, even then, I'm learning to give that much-needed grace.

But, here's the deal.  I fail at giving it to myself.  I see something I've done wrong and can't look past the wasted moments, days, years that I can't take back.  And it eats at me...

So, about that conversation I had with Kiley.  It was a super sweet moment in time.  For all the wrong reasons... ;) What I mean is she shared a little of her heart with me, not in a condemning, blaming way, but in a sweet, innocent way.  And, though it aches now to even think about it, I'm thankful for it.  I feel like maybe that moment in time was just the grace I needed... to save me from a future of mistakes.

I asked Kiley what she thinks about before she drifts off to sleep.  She told me she makes up fairy tales.  I asked her what kind.  She named a couple "sometimes I imagine I'm the President's daughter and I can have anything I want"... so much for that, sweetheart!;) And, "sometimes I imagine there's a secret door right there that leads to a room full of electronics... and a kitten." (interesting...ok...but that got me thinking.) So, I did it.  I asked her, "Do you think we are an electronic family?"  And, "Do you think Mommy is on her phone too much?" And, would you believe she was honest and truthful and answered what I already knew in my heart. Compared to the average American family, we are so not techy. We don't have a tv. We hardly do screen time.  But I know that I could use much more of my idle time in a way that makes me more readily available to the people directly in front of me.

Let me give you an example of how I know they want more of me.  Not quantity, but quality.  Yesterday, during our math dance time, I got up and danced with them.  I do that from time to time, but quite honestly, I'm extra pregnant and don't feel like dancing, or moving for that matter.  But, yesterday I just did it.  And about 30 seconds in, Kiley just comes over and gives me a big hug!  Why? Your guess is as good as mine but I'd say it had something to do with the fact that I jumped into their world for a minute and she appreciated it.

I came back out from their bedroom and sat with Jason and pondered what had been said.  And being the ever-gracious husband that he is, he reminded me that I'm with them ALL.  THE.  TIME.  So they see my weaknesses, my faults,  my shortcomings.  And, he's right.  I'm an open book.  It's all out there for them to see and hopefully learn from to become better than I am.

But that doesn't change the fact that I've wasted precious years.  Now, stepping outside the situation, I can see that we have A LOT of precious moments together.  But, am I available for them?  When THEY need me, not when I feel like it? To do the things THEY love, not what I want to do with them?

This Mom thing... Wow! It's a doozie.  And, learning from our mistakes, well, simply isn't very fun.  But, it's learning just the same, right? And, I need to grant myself that grace.  The grace that says the old is done and the new has come.  And I can only do what I feel is right, starting now.

Addendum: Had a lot of really great 'teachable moments' with the girls today.  And, this morning, just before writing this blog, I read a great article about knowing your kids hearts so you can impact them.  And, ya know, Kamden has been struggling a lot lately... culture shock, tiredness, not wanting to do certain things, etc.  And, today, I tried it.  I just asked her if we could play Barbies together.  So, we shut the door to my room, Kiley finished a product she was working on with Didi, and Kamden & I just played.  And that was everything that sweet girl needed! Was I fighting falling asleep from sheer exhaustion? Yes.  But, it was so worth it.  For her to later say, "That was just what I needed."

These girls... Man, God blessed me with them.  Now, just to be a good steward of that amazing blessing.  Easier said than done.  Learning as we go.  He's still workin' on me.

-The 4 Cokes

His Grace Is Enough

Just another day to understand a little bit more about God's grace.

I've always had a guilty spirit.  You know, when the entire school called an assembly because someone stole money from the office, and though I had nothing to do with it, I would sit there feeling like the whole room was staring a hole through me as if I'd done something wrong.  Maybe you can relate.  Well, as I've grown and matured in my faith (just a little bit since that time), and quite honestly through difficult circumstances I've faced, I've released a lot of that underserved guilt simply because you could drive yourself crazy, and well... I'm crazy enough already as it is! ;)

So, with all of that being said, guilty or not, Proverbs 18:9 convicts the junk out of me!  "Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys." So, in my Bible, the verse number is circled and out beside it the word 'Guilty!' is written.  And, truthfully, I know I could 'redeem the time' much more efficiently most of the time.

What I didn't notice until this morning is that during another one of my readings of that chapter, I had simply put a 'star' next to the very next verse.  Never relating the two at all.  18:10 says, "The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe."  I never connected the two verses to one another.  One convicted and one encouraged.  But, this morning I was wowed by the fact that they're right next to each other.  And when I read them together I was relieved to see that, though we fail Him, He is constantly there for us!!! Together they read, "Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys.  The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe."  Well, would you look at that! I get excited just reading it, because, duh, whatever our struggle, whatever our sin: laziness, hatefulness, pride, even passive sins such as simply not making the most of our time... Whatever the case may be, HE IS FAITHFUL.  He is a strong, never shifting tower, and HIS GRACE IS ENOUGH!!!  We are 'safe' from our own sins and our own demise when we simply run into His gracious life-giving arms!

I am SO thankful that He reminds us ever so gently of our sin, and then follows it with His sweet reminder that He is there to run to, and that on our own, we will never be enough!  Our choice simply lies in whether we will wallow in our sin or run into his safe, forgiving arms!

*no matter how I tried, I couldn't get the pic to turn around.  Just flip your computer sideways to read! 

-The 4 Cokes

A False Balance

Proverbs 11:1 - A false balance is an abomination to The Lord. 

I've always read over this verse quickly. It's talking about cheating or lying, right? Last time I checked, I wasn't ripping people off or keeping back money given to me by accident or something. So I just skip right past. 

Until today. I sat down to read Proverbs 11 and quite honestly had to read verse one over and over merely because I was being greatly entertained by a houseful of kids feeding me play-do cupcakes and cakes. ;) But I'm thankful because about the fourth or fifth time I read it, it hit me: this could just as well be talking about pride or low self esteem or how we view others compared to ourselves or visa versa. 

Get it? A false balance. Adding a little 'weight' to what we do or how we feel so as to "measure up" to the next guy or the standards we think we have to meet. Or just to look a little better. A false balance, right? 

Or unrealistically adding a huge scoop of "awesome" to the other guy because, I mean, they seem to have it altogether and I obviously do not. A false balance, right? 

Always until now I pictured this verse with veggies on one side of the scale and a weight on the other side that just wasn't quite what it said it was. Ya know, cheating or lying financially. 

But today I see all my works, all my efforts in one side- the good and the bad- and the other side filled with a non-existing picture-perfect person who has it all together and doesn't show a sign of weakness on the other side. And just for good measure, I dump an extra helping of awesomeness wherever I think it needs to be. 

And then what have I done? I've become an abomination to The Lord! 

I wanna be real. I wanna be real because God wants me to be real. Because without realness, how will anyone understand the grace of God? How in reality He's standing on that scale in my place. And He certainly measures up! 

VBS--- Until the Whole World Hears!

This life, as I mentioned on a status on Facebook, of raising TCK's is a ROLLER COASTER of emotions!  I mean, our life is filled with change.  Especially recently: new house, new city, new friends, new babies, new school year... And it takes its toll on everyone, but especially on us emotional girls.  So, I usually try not to stress (too terribly deeply-though those of you who know me, know I know how to stress!), and when there are beautiful little glimmers of sheer goodness, I like to bask in them, remember them, and tuck them away for memory's sake when I need them most.

This week would be one of those glimmers.  Earlier this week, I had a meltdown.  We three girls have been on the verge of emotional meltdowns for some time, I think, but this week it finally hit.  I saw the doctor and was told, as I expected, that I couldn't attend an upcoming retreat we had scheduled out in the middle of nowhere.  I was disappointed, but to say the girls were disappointed is an understatement.  They were heartbroken that I could not go.  Mind you, they still get to go!, but that wasn't sufficient, and it showed, through huge tear drops and lots of difficult moments.  This, of course, led me to "What all am I doing wrong?" and "How can I make it better?" and lots and lots of tears on my part too.  During that self-evaluation, I was reminded that Kamden (the one who has struggled the most with culture shock over the years), when feeling led to do something for someone else, is the fastest to jump right on what she felt called to do.  She doesn't quit until it's done.  And, guess what, a few weeks earlier she had the grand idea to start a VBS for the village kids.  And, I was so proud, and I entertained that idea so well... for a few days, until some of her ideas began to become irrational, she got sick, we got busy, then I sort of just let it slide rather than helping her make it happen.  And on the night of emotional breakdowns, I felt like a failure.  The very little girl who struggles with sharing her bike with the village kids wants to put on an entire VBS for them to learn about Jesus!!!!!!

So, I begged God for forgiveness and mostly for a second chance and went to bed.  Woke up with swollen eyes from crying (which our Didi made sure to point out) and I asked Kamden if she still wanted to do the VBS... Did she ever!? THANK YOU, LORD! (and instead of being jealous of the attention her little sister was getting, this time Kiley jumped in and said "How can I help?")  It was like a tiny moment in "Leave It To Beaver".

So... How did the VBS go, you ask? I COULDN'T HAVE IMAGINED ANYTHING BETTER!  Yesterday, Kamden handwrote invitations and handed them out to the  kids at the park.  Not in her typical 'shy-do I really have to-here you do it' way, but with confidence and boldness that could have only come from the Lord.  

                          

And, somehow, she had on her mind the exact story she wanted to be taught at our first ever VBS: The Lame Man (Acts. 3:1-10).  So, she took her trusty children's Bible that she's been reading at night and she read to each period then had me translate that sentence into Hindi.  And we practiced it over and over and over again.  ;) And in one day's time, would you believe she memorized that story (in English)!  This is the same girl who doesn't so much care for memorizing poems during language and yet can memorize an entire story in a day... Makes me rethink the way we do school just a little bit!

Finally, today came! And at 11 AM she was asking "How long until VBS?" and our friends from the park were ringing the doorbell starting around 4PM! ;)  Our awesome Auntie Marie and her four kids came to help out and each took on a task for VBS, we all prayed at the door, and headed out! Who knew what was to come or how it would go, but God did!  

Our first VBS went as smoothly as possible.  We saw about 30-35 kids come and pay very close attention, moms standing on the sidelines listening in and actually thankful for what we were doing, and even some workers hanging out of the unfinished building to hear what was going on!  This week, the Word went forth! The kids each did their job with confidence and the memory verse, amazingly enough, was memorized by at least 75% of the kids there! We sang, told a story, colored, snacked, earned candy, prayed, and invited back for next week!!!!

Kiley & Kamden were talking afterward and said "Hey! Wouldn't it be cool if this went really well and we started taking it to the other parks and spreading it!"  Yes, girls, spread it! Spread it far and wide... "Until the Whole World Hears"!!!!!!

-The 4 Cokes

A-mazing Time Down South

Long before we knew what the past few months would look like, we planned a trip down south to attend a wedding of a really close friend and spend a few days with friends back from our days on "the farm" as well as try to get in a trip to an Indian beach which was our first! 

Then life got a little crazy, I got a lot pregnant, and we had no idea how badly we would need that little getaway. Nor how truly amazing it would turn out to be! 

Our hosts were so incredibly hospitable and we had a blast just chatting with them, watching our kids play, meeting new friends, and touring a new to us part of India. 

We are so grateful for the way the body of Christ works together to uplift and encourage one another! We can't wait to "pay it forward" so come see us! ;) 

*Real BEEF at the Hard Rock Cafe! What?!? And super sweet friends! 

*Picture compliments of Melissa. :)

*Really fun exploring the rocky grounds at this tourist attraction. 

24 Weeks 5 Days

Kamden's Ever Maturing Heart Part 2

This morning, surrounded by new and old friends, the girls were watching some old VBS music videos. When a special song came on that Kamden just loved and made up motions to with me and made me do it over and over, Jason said "Kamden! It's your song!" She then just glares at us and says "it's not my song anymore!" Well, ok, then! Someone is embarrassed. Well, we didn't say a word, went on about our day, flew home, and when we got home about 10 hours later, she comes up to me completely on her own and says "I'm sorry for saying it wasn't our song anymore."  My. Heart. Burst. Because she was CONVICTED! She felt guilty and came to make it right! I told her it was Ok and that I was just proud of her for letting God work in her heart! 

Then, a few hours later, she comes to show me her freshly brushed teeth. Well, I like to check them but she really struggles with fear over some of the smallest things! She was afraid it would hurt or that I was going to pull her new loose tooth. So, very out of character, she says, "Can I pray first?" Are you kidding me? Of course! I reminded her that after praying for help to be brave it became her own choice whether or not she chose to be brave. Sadly, this time she didn't and she got in a little bit of trouble for fighting me so badly over barely even touching her teeth. But once again, I was so proud of her for choosing to PRAY in a time of fear! It's not always that she even lets me pray for her when she's having a difficult time. So I was so very proud of the growth I saw in her life today! 

First (hopefully, only) surgery in South Asia

This post's purpose is two fold:

Just to remember the events of yesterday and to entertain those of you who enjoy getting a laugh from other people's misery. ;) ie. embarrassing moments. 

First off, we took the girls for their yearly check up about a month ago and the pediatrician said Kamden's ear was full of wax and we should go to an ENT to have it removed. Well, it's not like we were in the middle of a move or anything. So, it took a few weeks. 

Finally, Jason was headed to the cap so we sent Kamden in just to have a quick fix... so we thought. The doc sent her back with tons of meds saying her middle ears were so full of fluid that we barely escaped surgery. She took antibiotics for a week and we went back in for a follow-up. At that time, the doctor looked in her ears and said it had gone way too far and that she needed surgery as soon as possible. As a mom, I was like, "What?!?!?" She's never complained. We've never had problems with ears. We have no clue what you're talking about. But after thinking in through, checking with a few medical consultants, and praying through the night, we decided to go ahead with the surgery. 

We took her in and, of course, Waite about two hours past the time of surgery. The only problem was that she was so hungry! But we survived. 

Well, one sad thing about the culture here is that people often make promises they can't keep, especially to children. If she said she was hungry, they responded with "you can have a chocolate!" When they snatched her "Dolphie" out of her hands and ripped her out of my arms, they told her there would be a new stuffed animal waiting for her. None of which was true. 

Well, with Kamden's seizure history, I had demanded I see the anesthesiologist before surgery. That never happened. So as they ripped her (literally without warning) from my arms, I said "I told you I needed to speak to the anesthesiologist!"  So, I did and then I said "can I please go in until she is asleep?!?" I had asked numerous times, and everyone said no. But the doctor said, "oh. You want to?@ Well, yes! They made me change clothes, which I did at record speed, and rushed in and she was, sadly, already asleep. So I just sat outside alone and prayed and waited. The doc invited me in to see the fluid he was removing. Then I waited some more. It wasn't a lengthy procedure at all- tubes and adenoids. 

Of course, I had asked multiple times to be sure I was there when she woke up, but when they came to get me, I could hear her crying. Thankfully, the next day when we talked about it, she said that everything was blurry and when she could finally see, she saw MOMMY! Yay for that! 

Well, here comes the embarrassing part! I had gone in to get her, picked her up, was carrying her out of the OR while she cried, soothing her, and what happens? My pants fall DOWN!!!!! Yes, there for all the medical staff to see (they're all walking out behind me!) So I'm grabbing my drawers, holding Kamden, walking, pregnant. It was a sight. I just said "sorry"! And kept moving. Lol! 

When I told Jason, I was laughing so hard! Could only happen to me! A very pregnant me.  I showed Jason about how far it felt like they had fallen and he said he couldn't see anything... But they were down pretty far so I'm not sure how anyone could have been spared.  

Anyway, our day droned on and none of us really ate anything so on the way home we grabbed McD, not to be boring, of course, Jason drove into a hole, I spilled the drinks all over the car, dropped water bottles in the dirt, and we finally made it home.  

Would you believe that Kamden woke up ready to start back to school the next day! 

And that was the adventure of surgery in South Asia! 

Memories

It happens just like that... When you least expect it. Kamden was playing hairstylist on me today so I was browsing pics on the iPad, and all the memories came flooding back. I honestly stopped to wonder how I could have been smiling so big in those pics when my entire world was being turned upside down.  And then it hit me, that smile was there because the love between true friends doesn't change with distance. And it was like somehow I knew it was going to be ok. And I knew that God's plan for us was not to harm us but for good.  I'm so incredibly thankful for the paths I've tread. It's just that sometimes that gratitude shows itself in huge cheesy grins and other times in tears. 

Just a few pics for memory's sake. 

-The 4 Cokes

Integrity 7/20/14

My heart burst this morning when I was sitting alone reading from Proverbs (my favorite book of the Bible, yet, everyday that I read from it I notice a little bit more how wise I'm not). 

Today, while I was reading, Kiley woke up and often if they're sitting around while I'm reading, I'll offer to read out loud and they love it. So, today I did just that. 

I got to a verse in Proverbs 20 that says, "The one who lives with integrity is righteous; his children who come after him will be happy." (Proverbs 20:7 HCSB)

And, Kiley thought on it for a minute and said "I think that's daddy!" My heart melted and beamed simultaneously. Because it's true. Their daddy is an example of integrity to them. 

It was a sweet, spontaneous time around the Word as a family as Kamden woke up and joined us and Daddy too. And we were able to discuss more from God's Word about being rich (one of Kamden's most recent questions is "Are we rich?" Or "Were we richer before we moved?" It's on her mind a lot. I try to remind her that, yes, monetarily we are richer than most of the world, but aside from that and far more important, we are rich because our Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills! But, today, from Proverbs, the topic came up again. 

"There is gold and a multitude of jewels, but knowledgeable lips are a rare treasure." (Proverbs 20:15 HCSB)

Want to be rich, Kamden? Speak knowledge from your mouth. It's far better than anything money can buy. 

I'm so proud of these two ladies. Everyday. But so much more as they walk thru transition once again and do it with grace (while their mommy does not). 

Kamden's Ever Maturing Heart 7/13/14

Kamden prayed the sweetest prayer tonight about living in M and moving to N. Something like thank you so much for the friends we made in Meerut and for letting us live here. And help us to still enjoy living in India! 

I just love those girls and their sweet hearts! 

The Game of Life

Oh. My. Word. The game of life is too funny with these two girls and my crazy husband. The real game and the board game. 

We played tonight and personalities shone! Kamden can't sit still during a game yet usually ends up winning. Explain that. And Kiley is a little day dreamer explaining in detail all the parts of the card she drew and naming the pets etc. It's too sweet.

At one point, Kiley had to give everyone a compliment. When she got to Jason, he ripped off his shirt and flexed his muscles. She didn't skip a beat, "Daddy! I love you... Just the way you are!" I thought I was going to lose it! Too funny! 

Today, tho, these girls have had eyes only for their mommy! And that melts my heart. Kiley told me tonight "I can't even explain how much I love you!" Who gets this lucky?!?!  She's the same little girl who told me when she was just tiny "Have you ever loved someone so much you wanted to squeeze them till it hurts?" Yes, Kiley, I certainly have!  And, don't tell her or even speak around her about teenagers not wanting to be around their parents. At the ripe old age of 8, she becomes angry and says that will never happen! ;) 

I am so blessed by this game of Life! 

*NOT part of the instructions. Just Kamden being Kamden. ;)