The time was 4AM. I woke up yet again to use the restroom (what pregnant lady doesn't). But this time I couldn't go back to sleep. Worry was setting in again.
These babies. They don't do a lot of moving when I'm lying down. I'm hoping and praying that means they'll be good sleepers and nothing else. But, sitting up, I can usually feel them on the go again. So, I got out of bed and went to the chair where I could sit and check on them.
There I sat. Praying some. Worrying some. Chatting some with friends in different time zones. And reading through the Psalms some.
I came across a verse that spoke my name. You see, this entire time I've said OVER and OVER that His ways are higher than our ways... BUT that that is exactly what scares me! That He never promised he would bring these babies into the world safe and sound, but that He would be glorified. That truth is sometimes paralyzing for me. I truly believe that should something go different than I would desire, that EVENTUALLY I would be ok. I would be more than ok and that possibly I'd get to see His good in it this side of Heaven. But I have never been ok with the right now of that truth.
So, I came to Psalm 18, and this was the verse that I needed to read... and TRUST:
"His way is perfect: the word of the Lord is pure. He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him." Psalm 18:30
You see... the missing link. Oh, I've trusted all along that His way is perfect. But, it has caused me to fear rather than to take refuge! And this verse clearly states that He is a shield to all who take REFUGE in Him. I just have to trust that He knows best and that that is a GOOD thing! Not something to fear!
He's using all of this madness to work on my heart. Pray for me, that I would let Him have His perfect way.
The 4 Cokes
These babies. They don't do a lot of moving when I'm lying down. I'm hoping and praying that means they'll be good sleepers and nothing else. But, sitting up, I can usually feel them on the go again. So, I got out of bed and went to the chair where I could sit and check on them.
There I sat. Praying some. Worrying some. Chatting some with friends in different time zones. And reading through the Psalms some.
I came across a verse that spoke my name. You see, this entire time I've said OVER and OVER that His ways are higher than our ways... BUT that that is exactly what scares me! That He never promised he would bring these babies into the world safe and sound, but that He would be glorified. That truth is sometimes paralyzing for me. I truly believe that should something go different than I would desire, that EVENTUALLY I would be ok. I would be more than ok and that possibly I'd get to see His good in it this side of Heaven. But I have never been ok with the right now of that truth.
So, I came to Psalm 18, and this was the verse that I needed to read... and TRUST:
"His way is perfect: the word of the Lord is pure. He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him." Psalm 18:30
You see... the missing link. Oh, I've trusted all along that His way is perfect. But, it has caused me to fear rather than to take refuge! And this verse clearly states that He is a shield to all who take REFUGE in Him. I just have to trust that He knows best and that that is a GOOD thing! Not something to fear!
He's using all of this madness to work on my heart. Pray for me, that I would let Him have His perfect way.
The 4 Cokes
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