Wailing Wall

Someone told me I needed to bring a journal... They were right. I'm standing at the wailing wall, the western wall of the old temple. The wall where millions of people come to be as close to the temple as possible...to pray, to cry out to God, to read the Scriptures, bowing their heads every single time they come across or say the name of God. A God, who in their opinion, has still not yet come to fulfill His promise of sending a Savior. 

Yet here I stand, with the full confidence that He already has. Knowing full well that He loved me enough. To pay the ultimate price to rescue me from my sins. Where's my commitment? My dedication? My reverence for this God. The same God they worship, I struggle to find time for, yet I know the rest of the story. I know He has already come. And that He'll come again. Wow! So humbling. So humiliating. To watch and be reminded of the reverence and awe that I should have for my God. My Savior. The one who loved me enough. We kneeled. We prayed. We begged God for their souls. That one day they would come to recognize that He loved them enough.

Day Two- Bethlehem

This morning started after a good full night's sleep. Uncle JoeJoe made us a nice breakfast and then we headed out for Bethlehem. 

Mistake #1 of the day: underestimating the cold weather! My toes were numb in my flip flops!!! Oops!

We headed toward the bus stop that had been pointed out to us and hopped on. 

Mistake #2 of the day: getting on the bus headed the wrong direction. Thankfully we are the last stop before the bus station so we didn't go far out of our way. Hopped back on the bus and we were off! 

Arrived in Bethlehem to discover: 

Mistake #3 of the day: choosing the ONE day of the ENTIRE year when the manger scene is closed for cleaning!!! What?!?! 

So, we met a nice couple who told us we should just walk around to the backside and at least peek in the church. So we did. And there we met a priest who at least let us peek though a hole the size of a dime in a door where we could see the beloved spot where Jesus was born. Yes, really. We figured that would be it for us! 

Here's a picture of the girls standing by the door that we peeked through. 

But... Thankfully, we heard that the cleaning would be finishing earlier than expected and the manger scene would reopen in about an hour. 

So, we headed off to look around and the girls found some cute boots! I wished I found some cute boots but I was happy for them. My toes, on the other hand, were not so happy. 

Seeing the place of Jesus' birth was a really cool experience. Imagining what it must have been like. You can see the spot where the shepherds would have been standing on the mountain which is pretty neat too. 

The girls at the entrance in their new boots. 

We then found a cute little authentic restaurant a little off the beaten path and had our first taste of the famous falafel which was delicious and some hummus that was out of this world! 

We found a few souvenirs and then hit the bus back to our place. But not before Kiley gave us all a good laugh/scare. At the restaurant, we were discussing some of the current events and history behind these countries. Kiley says so sweetly "I don't want there to be a war or anyone to get hurt, but if there is, I hope Israel wins back their land!" Oops! We said "shhhh!" right away and explained that now is probably not the best time to share whose side you're on! ;) It's one of those times you're not quite as excited that your seven year old is so up to date on her historical knowledge. 

The girl is rocking Old Testament history, btw, thanks mostly to her stellar dad. She was spouting out places and events that I truly knew nothing about. She was so excited to see the mountain that King Herod leveled out to build a temple on?!! Who knew. And she's ecstatic about heading to the Western Wall tonight. 

We're resting now, well, I'm blogging and Kiley's asking every five minutes how much longer. But we're supposed to be resting to be ready for tonight's adventures. 

Have a great day everyone! And Happy New Year!!! 

Israel Day One

Random thoughts on Day One: 

-this place is PEACEFUL!  Over and over people warned us about how crowded and how much traffic there was here. We sort of forgot we were coming from India! When we got here, it literally felt like silence has swept over the land. It's so beautifully calm and peaceful here. 

-it feels good to be in the passenger seat of a car with my husband at the wheel! Jason was a bit nervous about driving a car on the right hand side of the road again! And, I won't even tell you how many times I tried to talk him out of renting a car. But it feels so good to be able to get up and go in a four wheeled vehicle on the peaceful streets anywhere we want to go! 

-the people are courteous! We were shocked at how many times people let us slip into the lane when we needed in. It was funny how it caught us by surprise. And a few times, I wondered if Jason appeared rude because he's so used to having to take his place if he wants it. 

-by far, my biggest culture shock is... THE PRICE OF FOOD!!! Oh my word!!! I had a near heart attack when I paid $16.53 for ONE ten-piece nugget meal at McDonalds. And, I wanted to believe it was only triple the price because it was American, but, no, EVERYTHING is that expensive! We stopped in at a grocery store to grab some snacks, thinking we would save that way. Wow! I was in awe at the cost of everything. We did splurge on some AMAZING looking strawberries because we don't get those in our country and we are all so excited to eat them! They're huge! 

-speaking of huge, the fruits and veggies are gigantic! I understand more the story of Joshua and Caleb going into the promise land and coming back with grapes so large they couldn't carry them alone! ;) We were pretty impressed with the size of the fruit! 

-lastly, the sadness of watching people faithfully perform rituals as they wait patiently for their Savior to come, as I sit back and realize He's already come. They're waiting so patiently. They're so sweet. Today, it just so happened that Romans 11 was what I was reading in my devotions. It's a great explanation of how the Gospel came to me, in part, because of their lack of belief. And, so, for these people I am thankful. But, my heart goes out to them for the day when they realize, He CAME for them. 

That's day one. We arrived after having been up the whole night before and just took today to get acquainted with the place. Met the nice man who runs the place we're staying. The girls are already calling him Uncle JoeJoe and he's already spoiling them with Oreos and hot chocolate. Off to Bethlehem today! 

Here's Kamden holding a pomegranite as big as her face! 

What a Difference a Year Makes

Many of you have heard the stories about how bad, no, not bad, difficult our first Christmas was on this side of the world.  To be honest, it was so difficult that I couldn't put it into words at that time.  To be honest, I naively, didn't expect it to be hard.  I was actually somewhat looking forward to our first Christmas away.  I pictured this peaceful, quiet day.  Just us four around the Christmas tree enjoying family time and a picture perfect holiday meal on the table.  WRONG!!!!! I found out, I think, one week before Christmas, that Christmas here is celebrated much differently than that.  Silly me, I thought "Well, if we're the only 'Christians' here, then surely we'll celebrate quietly".  No! It's not that way.  And one year later, I LOVE that it's not that way.  But back then, not so much, or not at all.  That Christmas Eve, we ended up traveling all over town visiting people's homes with barely enough hindi of our own to hold a conversation, let alone tell them "no" we don't feel like coming.  We were exhausted and had volunteered to bake for a big Christmas Day celebration at the local church and a whole lot of other responsibilities.  Not to mention, how our girls felt hounded for pictures and hugs and cheek pinches.  I won't go into detail about all that felt wrong that day (mainly because now most of what felt wrong then, feels right now), but it just did.  We ended up bailing out on the service early (before the big celebratory meal) and rode home in the freezing cold (which we also hadn't prepared for) and sat down to open presents (after ordering, of all things, Pizza Hut pizza for our big Christmas meal).  Sitting by that tree, the tears found my eyes and started pouring out.  I was speechless.  I couldn't explain why I was crying but I was.  That day was hard.  Plain and simple.  But something in me made me pull myself up and keep going.  Well, not until AFTER we called it quits and took a big, long, afternoon nap.  We ended up eating dinner at midnight and I was determined my family would have some type of Christmas dessert so at 2:30am we found ourselves eating oreo balls and hitting the sack around 3am.  And, so began the Christmas Day family nap then stay up as late as possible tradition.

Not long after that nearly miserable day, I told Jason that now that we know what to expect, I think I can at least survive being here for Christmas another year.  (On Christmas day, we were ready to book our visa run tickets for Christmas Day so we wouldn't have to suffer through that again!)

And, now, one year later, I sit here and say with all honesty, that this has been my very favorite Christmas season EVER.  We didn't just survive this year, we thrived.  No doubt due to a lot of amazing people praying for us.  So this Christmas, this place felt like home.  We started celebrating (quietly) on December first with a couple different advent calendars.  We watched as our once overly shy girls blossomed into willingly visiting and sharing with neighbors and friends.  We actually decided on our own this year to visit neighbors and friends with cookies (not because of a lack of language and ability to say no), no, this time we chose to go, because we wanted to.  We got to share the Good News and some warm gloves with a lost people group.  We even willingly baked this year! ;) (even if it was full of minor frustrations like lack of electricity, no lack of bugs...) We just really enjoyed using Christmas Eve as a day to share with as many as we could WHY we celebrate Christmas.

And then there was Christmas Day.  Wanna hear a secret? About a month ago, Kamden was found lying in her bed complaining that we 'had' to go to church on Christmas.  Do you know she woke up Christmas morning, went to church, and I caught her smiling and laughing many times throughout the 3 and 1/2 hour service! As a matter of fact, I have quite the video of her and a friend singing obnoxiously loudly into the microphone when the kids got up to sing Jingle Bells! We made it home near 4pm and hit the sacks after opening the girls' stockings.  Slept till 7pm and then opened presents, played and played, ate dinner (pizza again, this time homemade) at 1am and dessert at 3am (oreo balls, of course).  We went to bed happily at 4am! And this time, the whole month felt flawless! We celebrated His birth! With joy! With excitement! And with a sweet, peaceful feeling of home!

It's amazing what a difference a year makes.  So much has changed in our hearts and in our home in the past year.  With the change comes the realization that we just aren't exactly who we once were, nor who we will be when He's done with us.

I'm thankful now for that first Christmas here.  My girls have heard the story told a number of times and reminisced with us about all the funny things that happened that weren't really all that funny back then.  We've learned together to be flexible, to be willing, to celebrate Jesus' birth with open and willing hearts to be used by Him during that time.  After all, that's what He asks of us... He wants our hearts.

-The 4 Cokes

Count the Cost

WE WILL NEVER FULLY UNDERSTAND THE TRUE COST OF FOLLOWING JESUS!

And today, as I sat across from a lady telling me, "I want to believe in Jesus, but I CAN'T!", in that moment, I wished I had experienced just a touch of the suffering she had experienced in her life in an effort to be able to empathize with her.

What do you say to a woman who tells you, "My husband is very angry that you are telling me about this Jesus." How do you respond when she says he beat her for holding a 'worship service' in their home.  How small does your own faith feel when you begin to feel so hopeless for those people and shake your head and think, "You're right... it would be nearly impossible for you to believe in Jesus."

We have NO EARTHLY IDEA THE TRUE COST OF FOLLOWING JESUS!

-The 4 Cokes

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like...

CHRISTMAS!!!!! Ok, not really. Ok. Not at all. ;) Inside our house, yes, but out there, you'd never know. So, we had the privelege today of going out into the villages together as a family!!! 

We hopped in a taxi, Jason with his gps, me with my experience of having been to this particular location before, and off we went! 

Well, sadly, it took me FAR too long to realize we were NOT headed in the right direction! (Cut me some slack, everyone knows I am directionally challenged!) 

Jason looks again at his map... Yep, there are two villages with the exact same name. We were going totally the wrong way. 

So, a smart person calls up one of the girls we are going to visit and has her speak to the taxi driver to get the most accurate directions possible, right? Right! Exactly what I did. Except, well, turns out, she wasn't home today...She was visiting family in a city even further away!!!! So, when we had PASSED the village we were looking for AGAIN, and I mean, an hour past, I realized again that this simply couldn't be right! So we went BACK! Found the village, called her, and that's when we finally realized she wasn't home and that's why she had give completely different directions to the taxi driver! (He was cracking us up, btw, he kept saying "that's why you have to speak to gents, because ladies give bad directions!"! Hilarious! And, we were thankful for his sense of humor!) 

A lot of fun was had today, in spite of spending 4 hours in the car! Jason randomly started singing, "it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..." And the girls are yelling, "No, it's not!" And then we all just started pointing out all the "Christmasy" things we saw, followed by breaking out in a Christmas song that went with that particular Christmas symbol. You know, like, all the workers in the fields certainly had to be elves, while the three camels and riders we passed were most definitely the wisemen! We passed a sweet little marble shack type thing that had to have resembled Bethlehem, and there's no doubt that little boy riding the bike was the little drummer boy! 

It was a quite enjoyable ride. One I wouldn't have traded for anything. And, then it hit me... This is what we should be doing with these last few days leading up to Jesus' birthday! Making every attempt to share the joy we've found in Him. 

We eventually did get to sit with one young man who has accepted Christ and who seems passionate about learning more. And, we found our second village, and tho no apparent fruit came from that visit, one thing is for sure, hearing my (often shy) daughters singing "Glo-o-o-o-o-ria" with us to a group of men and children in an effort to share the joy of Christmas, well, that touched my heart in a way that I don't want to forget! 

So, it's a day for the books. We came home having munched on cookies, sweets, chai, and soft drinks all day long and with hungry tummies and full hearts! 

Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night! 

Kamden making friends with a baby buffalo. 

Kiley watching our new friend play this Indian instrument. 

Kamden & Kiley after a long day having sang with us a couple Christmas carols for this crowd. 

Lately

What's been happening lately? Lately, we've been living life.  We're in a sort of routine.  Probably more of a routine than we've ever had in our life.  And, I'm loving it! We still like to do the spontaneous so as things sneak in, we readjust.  But, for the most part, life is just happening as normal as possible.

Currently, Jason is out of town for a two week language intensive.  We.  Miss.  Him.  Terribly! BUT, things are going surprisingly well.  It's allowed for a lot of special one on one time, not only for me with the girls, but for the girls with each other.  They have been amazing buddies the past few days.

What's the typical day look like for the4cokes, or at least the 3 ladies of the4cokes?

Monday - Thursday are our typical homeschool days.  So, on those days, we try to start our day with breakfast at 8:00.  I try to get up prior to everyone else because I like the quiet before everyone awakes.  I often let the girls sleep if they need the extra.  Sidenote: did you know that living overseas, especially in a place so stimulating as this, can cause you to need as much sleep as a newborn? And, it makes sense.  Just as a newborn is making new discoveries every moment of everyday, so are we.  So, if they sleep, I often let them.  Then we get started right away with breakfast and Bible.  We are reading through a very detailed children's Bible and it's taking us forever to get through, but the girls seem to love it! We learn a Bible verse a week using the "Seeds of..." series, and the girls have a little devotional book that they love doing.  If there's time, we use the next 30 minutes for any type of activity I feel like having them do that day.  Usually that time slips by rather quickly.  The girls then move on to handwriting, followed by Kiley's independent math time while I teach Kamden phonics/reading.  Two days a week, we then rush out the door to ride bikes to the local part to play with our friends.  Sidenote: I never dreamed my girls would be riding bikes on the crowded streets here! I'm so thankful for the opportunities they get.  After recess, I bring the two smallest of the five girls back for math class, while the other three stay at our friends' house for writing and spelling class.  On the other two days a week, we take it easy by staying here and doing afternoon work in reading/language etc. and have a Hindi class here as well.

Those are the weekdays.  Then, on Friday, I go to the village where I've been released to lead small house churches in a few different villages twice a month.  It's challenging, rewarding, a huge learning experience, and great to have an organized planned day for ministry.  I'm enjoying it.

Our evenings seem to go by so quickly! The girls play... and play... and play some more, while I make dinner, study Hindi, and try to get in some time reading to them as well.  We eat and then it's usually off to bed.  For the girls, that is! ;)

This month, we've added some activities to our daily schedule.  And, so far so good! We're really enjoying celebrating Christmas this year with a couple different activities.  At first I wondered, "too much?" but then I remembered, that if I don't do it, who will? They aren't surrounded by the "reason for the season" here with Sunday School, children's church, etc. so I decided to go for it and we're loving it.

We are doing three advent style activities.  But total, they probably take 10 minutes to complete.  The girls are doing a good deed every day on one of their calendars.  On another, they are praying for a different people group each day using a beautifully hand crafted advent calendar complete with dolls representing each group.  It's awesome and they are awestruck by it.  And then, we are finishing the night with the Jesse Tree devotionals.  Short, sweet, and to the point.

I'm loving these days.  Someone once said, "The days are long but the years are short." But in this season of my life, I disagree.  My girls are in 'the soft spot' I'd say.  Being around them is enjoyable to me.  And, most days, I don't want to lay them down.

SO, this is a just quick glimpse at what's going on around here.  Life is good.  God is great.  We are blessed!

-The 4 Cokes

Engineering

Today, I watched this short video clip advertising a new line of toys for girls that's supposed to encourage engineering thinking in girls. I didn't think much of it and went on about my day. 

Later, we had a little surprise birthday party for our friend where I hung balloons from the ceiling fan. 

After the party, Kamden asks if we could turn it into a swing for her baby doll! So, together we three maneuvered it to work as a swing for her baby while the girls just laughed and laughed and I silently prayed we wouldn't pull the already loose ceiling fan out of the ceiling! 

After the fact, I caught Kiley trying a variety of her dolls on the rigged up swing and it reminded me of the video. Ha! 

So, I let the girls watch it and they loved it, ran off to their room to set up their own cause & affect obstacle course. 

They were already cracking me up with all their excitement when Kamden says, "Mommy! Those girls had a pool in their house!" (Speaking of the video) And Kiley says, in a slight whisper yet so matter of factly and as if it were big news, "Kamden, people in America have YARDS!" 

Haha. Oh the life of a TCK! Have you thanked God for your yard today? We may be reteaching the girls what that is when we come back! ;) 

*Here's their doll swing. Looks like they must have turned it into a two seater. Sweet! ;) 

Trust Jesus or Else

For those of you who enjoy my embarrassing moments here in our new country, I think you'll enjoy this one. 

Today, while sharing in a village with a woman who is on the fence about following Christ, my friends had the opportunity to share straight-up truth with her. I kept quiet most of the time, intimidated over my lack of language ability compared to theirs. 

Throughout the meeting, the cutest little 8 month old girl had been chewing on whatever she could get her hands on. One of those items being a very real looking toy gun. I had made mention (in English) how that weirded me out and I didn't love the idea of it. 

Well, towards time to leave, I finally decided to speak up and share how when we follow Christ we must be obedient to His commands. I had kept quiet the whole time and when I finally decided to speak, it turns out that without even realizing it, I had picked up that toy gun and was waving it rather wildly as I spoke! 

After leaving, my friends were cracking up and I had no idea I had even done it. They said it was rather comical to watch as I appeared as if I was holding a gun to their head, saying, "Trust Jesus or else!" 

Like Newborn Infants

Most recently, I've been heavily convicted about one thing: my time with The Lord. These verses from Saturday night's house church hit home. I can't get them out of my heart and, though it's taking me a long time to get it, God is being ever so patient with me. 

"Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation-- if indeed you have tasted that The Lord is good. AS YOU COME TO HIM... You are being built up as a spiritual house..." 1 Peter 2:2-5 

Throwback Thursday

Maybe it's the sappy Christian music my husband has playing tonight... Combined with the fact that two of my favorite people just left after an amazing visit... Combined with the fact that sometimes life is just difficult and slightly confusing... Combined with the fact that life is really good all the while... Combined with the fact that I'm ecstatic that my parents will be here in one week... Combined with the fact that one of my best friends just sent me a picture for Throwback Thursday that finally just brought me to tears.

It's the STRANGEST feeling.  I looked at the picture and immediately this strange emotion came over me and this strong compulsion that I could just step right through the screen and be standing in that very moment.  It was as if I was there but yet I'm not.  And, then the tears began to flow.

And that, my friends, is the best way I can put into words the emotions that I face on a daily basis.

Here's the guilty! ;) Thanks for sending it, Amy.  It really did make my day.  In a strange sort of way! ;)

-The 4 Cokes

What If?

The scene: 

I had just laid the girls down for rest time and I had gotten myself a sweet to munch on and grabbed my Bible & my Hindi book to try to get some studying done in both. 

But I was discouraged. I was having yet another case of the "what if's". "What if we'd just stayed home?" "What if we had never left?" And I was pondering the ever pressing question "What have I gotten myself into and why am I here?" 

So, I typed a quick note to some of my prayer partners: 

{Prayers as you wake up this morning. Struggling momentarily. Surely to be short-lived with adequate prayer and some time in the Word. Thanks a ton!}

I then sat, as I read a few verses from my Bible, almost frozen in this strange feeling that I couldn't figure out. I stared at the door for a good two minutes feeling like someone was going to walk in on me. I kept reminding myself the door was locked so it wasn't like I was going to be taken by surprise but I felt unsettled. As if I was waiting for someone. Little did I know, it was the Spirit inside me who was waiting for someone. 

Sure enough, a knock came on the door. It hardly caught me by surprise since I'd been waiting for it so expectantly. 

When I answered the door, I found a girl not much younger than myself accompanied by a house helper. The girl introduced herself and asked if I did tuitions in my home. Inwardly, I rolled my eyes because I thought I knew what was coming next. "Yes, I teach my own children," I replied, "but I don't teach any others. You have children?" 

"No." She said. Which came as a surprise. Turns out, she is a housewife who has made zero friends since moving here about two years ago and had come looking for a friend.

Our conversation quickly turned to Christ as I tried to explain why people do the things they do and act the way they act. Of course, after mentioning His name, she admitted she had never heard of Him! 

So, I thought "Here goes nothing!" And started into Creation to Christ. I finished with "The Bridge" Gospel presentation and, looking into her eyes, realized that she had tears. I knew immediately that she understood and that God had led her straight to my door. So, I asked her if she wanted to place her trust in this Jesus. Her response? 

"Definitely! Why would I NOT?!?" 

Wow! Chew on that for a minute and let it slap you around. 

We continued chatting and she soon admitted she had come there looking for a friend. I excitedly told her she came looking for a friend in me but found Jesus instead. 

I went back inside awestruck over what had just happened. Thanking God that only minutes after wondering why we are here, He not only showed me but allowed someone to become a child of the King through His answer! 

Praise Him that He uses us in spite of us. And cares enough to answer those silly little cries of "What if!" and "Why?" 

Please pray for my new friend.  And for me as I try to teach her Truth. It's not an easy road. 

First Day of School!

Shwew... Just taking a quick breather after a jam packed day. Today was... The first day of school! Yay!

A little background... I've been anxiously planning for this day all summer. I really felt like, at least for this season in our lives, we really needed some structure. A schedule. Some consistency. But, that's just so not me. So I've been praying over, planning, and preparing all summer. 

Well, then came anniversary, then came fever, then came up all night because of said first day of school along with crazy loud 3AM parade. Not to mention, the morning routine I created for myself was near impossible! 

BUT... I was most determined to keep a positive attitude and ENJOY this time! Which, I think I managed to accomplish! 

The day started for the girls with a new t-shirt they'd been eyeing. :) Fun! Then we got started on Bible. My plan was to skip Bible today to adequately explain the schedule and then it hit me... Where better to go to talk about plans. So, we sat and looked up verses about plans. And, nope, didn't even make it through the first day of Bible class without crying. 

Here I was stressing about the plans of homeschool and recognizing that His plans for me will succeed AND that they are far greater than my own. Good news for a first day of school! 

Then we prayed about what plans we were nervous about. Sweet Kamden whispered to me that she was excited about dance class but afraid. So we prayed. For that sweet little honest girl who loves dance with her whole heart. I just love her. 

The rest of the day was just dandy. Rushed? A little. Did I feel like I was chasing objects around and do I feel utterly exhausted now? Yes. But we all had a great day! 

Some low lights: 

-Handwriting for Kiley took longer than expected. She's learning cursive this year! But, it's challenging! And I want her to stay excited about it. So that was hard. 

-I definitely felt like I was chasing things here and there, but I know it will get more organized as we go. 

Some highlights: 

-Kamden loved her phonics time. She got to make a craft and did great on it. 

-Kiley's math is fun and great for her. She even chose to do the parts we had to skip early on because of handwriting, later in the day. 

-Teaching the little girls Math was fun and rewarding. They learn so fast. I'm excited about what all they'll pick up this year during that time. 

-Kiley is as excited as ever about reading. That's always nice! 

-For the first time in quite a while, the girls got to play outside with friends for recess! 

I'm excited about this year. Nervous still. But excited. 

Heart-Wrenching, Soul-Disturbing

The heart-wrenching, soul-disturbing cultural experience I had tonight traveling home from the train station, if seen and experienced in person, should draw Jesus followers from around the globe to ensure these people get a chance to hear of the saving love of Jesus! 

Tonight, in our city, H's lined the street to celebrate the bringing home of "holy water" from the Ganges river to pour over their statues in order to give those statues strength and power enough to forgive their sins and shower them with blessings. 

Meanwhile, M's gathered in mosques to celebrate Ramadan. We passed the open doors of an M temple and watched in awe as they performed their ritualistic prayers. 

As we drove home on these overly crowded streets, I wanted so badly to SCREAM! And, then my heart went immediately to "We need more people!" These people must hear that there is a better way... The only way! 

"If the church of God fully realized her heritage in the Gospel, she would send ten thousand fresh messengers to the farthest parts of the earth to proclaim Jesus." -John Paton

    -a water carrier proudly walks up to 125 km one way to collect water from the river to take back home to his gods. 

Proverbs 22:17

How do I get wisdom? What's the key? What's the magic formula or the secret recipe? 

If there is one, I found it yesterday when I was reading Proverbs 22:17! 

"Incline your ear, and hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to my knowledge"

Looks to me like there are three steps:

1) Incline your ear... Prepare it. How? By studying wisdom, being around wisdom, picking the brains of the wise, praying for wisdom. 

2) Hear the words of the wise. Simply hear and listen to the wisdom that you've prepped you ears to hear. Because after prepping your ears to hear wisdom, you'll begin to hear it at work around you. 

3) Lastly, apply your heart. Apply what you've heard. 

Simple yet profound... Straight from the word. 

L-O-V-E

Last night, after a ridiculous bout with sibling rivalry and an over the top reaction from my eldest to discipline, I have to say I was a tad, no, a lot overwhelmed. My biggest pet peeve when it comes to my children is watching them interact toward one another in a negative way. I am sure I overexaggerate it at times because it really bothers me. 

Which totally hits a spiritual application and I'm able to see why God mentions loving one another so much in the Bible. How He longs for us to LOVE! And to simply love other believers. AHHHH... I feel like I totally get how He feels when I watch my girls act with such poor intent toward each other. I tell my girls all the time that the best way to show ME love is to show each other love. And, isn't that what Christ said too? "They will know you by your love"... "If you love me, feed my sheep!" OUCH! Hits home for me. 

So, last night as I sat alone after the whole ordeal and just cried and listed to the first song that came to my mind "How Great the Father's Love for Us" and began just writing out some of my feelings about the situation, and really taking blame for how they were treating each other, God whispered a verse in my ear. 

"Above all, maintain an intense love for each other, since love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8 HCSB)

At first, it was just for me. He was reminding me that HIS love has covered MY mistakes. 

Then, it was for me toward my kids. He reminded my that MY love for them should cause me to look past their faults and love them through it rather than trying to change them. 

Then, it became for my girls. I realized, hey, we can all glean from this verse. We can treat each other kindly because "love covers a multitude of sins"! Therefore, when I love _______, I don't notice their faults because my love covers those faults. 

And, lastly, I was reminded that love is not a feeling, rather a choice, an action. Otherwise, why would He have commanded us to love over and over again. 

So, I'm super excited because God gave me our family's theme for this coming season in our lives. My goal is that we focus on LOVE. That we learn about love. That we talk about love. That we practice love. That love becomes the center of everything we do. After all, according to this verse (and many others) love is to be ABOVE ALL, the foundation on which we stand. The root for every other "good" that we do. 

As I dive into this idea, I get a little overwhelmed, but I'm excited because I think God has a lot to teach each of us in the area of truly understanding what love is. 

So, bring on the season of LOVE! 

The God of Angel Armies

Throughout Kamden's bout with sickness, I couldn't get a particular song out of my mind. 

http://youtu.be/qOkImV2cJDg

Living in the place we do, where spiritual warfare is ever more obvious, I'll be honest, I was a little intimidated. But having faced it head on and watched as God Himself brought healing, I am reminded that He is always by my side. He goes before and stands behind. He is the God of angel armies. Whom shall I fear? 

"Whom Shall I Fear" Chris Tomlin

You hear me when I call

You are my morning song

Though darkness fills the night

It cannot hide the light

Whom shall I fear

You crush the enemy

Underneath my feet

You are my sword and shield

Though troubles linger still

Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me

I know who stands behind

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever

He is a friend of mine

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

My strength is in Your name

For You alone can save

You will deliver me

Yours is the victory

Whom shall I fear

Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me

I know who stands behind

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever

He is a friend of mine

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

And nothing formed against me shall stand

You hold the whole world in Your hands

I'm holding on to Your promises

You are faithful

You are faithful

And nothing formed against me shall stand

You hold the hold world in your hands

I'm hold on to your promises

You are faithful

You are faithful

You are faithful

I know who goes before me

I know who stands behind

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever

He is a friend of mine

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

I know who goes before me

I know who stands behind

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever

He is a friend of mine

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

A Simple but Fun Day

We had a really great day! And accomplished a lot simultaneously. Jason found an avenue for language worth trying, I finished the bookshelf, studied Hindi, & baked a lot! We had a morning play date with Kamden's friend, Joy, because Kiley got to spend the week with friends while we were at the doctor. But this evening we had a ton of fun playing "mystery" (Kiley's idea because she's been reading some kid mystery books). The picture below is of the suspects and the guilty! Once Jason got home, he jumped right into action making up a real mystery for the girls to solve. Of course, I ended up as the "bad guy". And, we bought a little car for the girls to ride around on the roof. Sadly, it turned out far too cheap to actually use outside, but the girls absolutely LOVE it on these marble floors! It really was a fun day! 

168 Hour Intensive

One week ago, I posted the following status on Facebook: 

"I don't remember signing up for a 24 hour intensive on "Lessons from the Holy Spirit" but boy was I on a crash course today!"

Today, that should read "168 hour intensive"! Since that update, I have experienced Kamden having two febrile seizures, an ER visit, a PICU stay, an innumerable amount of hallucinations, a passing out, an EEG, an MRI, and a 7 day fever. 

What to make of all of this? Throughout the week, I felt strong. Not strong in myself, but strong in The Lord. I felt like I was being carried, as I've felt so many times in the past year or so. But what was it all worth, if from here I do not take something from it?

The week before, I had received such inspiration and instruction from The Lord. I made a list of thing in my life that needed work. I was ready to get started right away on the new and improved me. But it was not to be so without trials. After all, aren't we purified by fire, not by a life of ease? 

So, how has this week changed me? Number one, I am more personally aware of spiritual warfare and what that really looks like. I have, for the first time in my life sat over my sleeping child and commanded in Jesus' name that the sickness come out of her. I have heard her cries after being disoriented and known that only God could truly comfort her in that time. 

Number two, I have prepared myself for the worst, yet had to come to terms with knowing that I may never know exactly what happened this past week. Which is hard, really hard. I like answers. Clear explanations. Reasons for things. But God doesn't promise answers. And I have to be thankful for that. 

Number three, I have been reminded of the body of Christ and how it functions on our behalf. Because of time differences, Kamden had prayers going up for her night & day. Our team leaders jumped into action more than once and have taken Kiley in for the past four days. Others friends drove over an hour just to pray over Kamden. 

Number four, I was reminded that, on my own, I am entirely incapable of raising these two sweet girls. That, often, God has to work in their lives IN SPITE of me rather than through me. 

Number five, go ahead, tell God your plans, and then sit back and watch and HIS plan unfolds. Because, honestly, He is sovereign. He is in control. We are His masterpiece. Who are we to tell Him what we will do or what our lives will look like. 

And, so, it's with much care that I say, "bring on whatever's next!" Because I know now how dangerous those words can be. Yet how rewarding. And how life-changing. 

Two Surprises

Two interesting things have taken place since having moved to South Asia. Two things that, if I'm honest, I never dreamed would happen. 

1. While spending a week away from this culture, I actually found myself mentally covering my head while I prayed. I missed that dupatta when I thought I'd never  have a single positive thing to say about it. It's a great feeling of respect for God when I cover my head in humility toward Him when I pray. It was the strangest thing when I realized "I miss that thing!" I certainly HATE wearing the thing around, but apparently I do love the way it makes me feel when I go to pray and I can physically humble myself before The Lord. 

2. The second thing that I never saw coming was the way I feel when I scroll through pics on Facebook of girls in their bikinis. I am suddenly embarrassed for them! I think I have attained a sickness called "skin shock" where I am flabbergasted by the amount of skin people are willing to show the whole world. Save something for your future husbands, sweethearts! The whole world doesn't need to see your every nook and cranny! 

Apparently, it's happening, whether I intended for it to or not. This place is changing me little by little. 

He Makes All Things New

I recently had someone sort of reprimand me for a decision I had made in the past that could not be revoked and that I had no control over now that it was over and done with. 

That hurt. It frustrated me and gave me somewhat of a chip on my shoulder toward that person. 

Fast forward a few weeks. God clearly reveals to me that I am guilty of doing that exact same thing. To myself. All the time. I live under the guilt of the mistakes I've made and I beat myself up over things I simply can't change. 

Not any more. My God is a redeeming, renewing God who makes all things new. I don't have to tear myself up over my past mistakes. He is sovereign. Those mistakes are there to refine me and make me more into the likeness of His Son. And so, I'll praise Him for those moments and recognize that they're all a part of His story for my life! 

Bursting

Does anyone else ever just feel like they are bursting with emotion. (Maybe it's the caffeine in the cup of chai I had just now) but I don't think so. 

Sometimes my heart is SO overwhelmed with random emotions that I feel like dancing, bursting, crying, shouting, all at once! 

Am I crazy? I don't think so. Crazy about my life? Yes. Crazy about the God of this universe who created me, loves me, died for me... Yes. Crazy about my crazy husband? Yes. And my absolutely breathtakingly precious girls? Yes. My life? I mean... Sometimes I have to stand still in my tracks and consider pinching myself to make sure it's real. 

Simultaneously, it's hard. Really hard. Sometimes just a slight glimpse of even just the GRASS in my parents' front yard makes me freeze. I scan photos of my home church, too, looking for every. single. detail. In an effort to take it all in. And for a brief moment in time feel as if I'm actually there. 

Then I snap back into reality and smile just the same. Because it is good. It is all good. And with the pain, comes the triumph. And with the hardships, comes the victory. Small as they may be. And may we never know them this side of Heaven, I can rest assured that my life is in His hands. And that in itself is a victory. A major victory. 

Ten Things I LOVE About This Place

1) I love the animals.  Animals, animals, & more animals! They are EVERYWHERE! They still light up my girls' eyes 8 months in. 

2) I love the surrealism.  Is this really my life??? Every.  Single.  Day.  Brings a new adventure.  WIthout question, every day I experience something that makes me laugh out loud, something that makes me want to cry, something that makes me cringe, something that makes me want to scream, something that makes me fear for my life, something that disgusts me... and the list goes on.  There is truly never a dull moment and I love that.

3) I love that this place is literally indescribable.  There is NO other place like this one.  

4) I love the challenge.  This life is, by far, the most difficult challenge I've ever faced.  Recently, I had a major meltdown.  I had put on myself the pressure of it all.  And, right as I was literally crashing to the floor in a defeated slump, I clenched my fists, stomped my foot, and said "I CAN DO THIS!"  Later, I realized that the closest thing I could compare to how I felt at that moment is childbirth.  I know, strange.  But, really!  Only, childbirth lasted no time at all in comparison to the challenge that lies before me.  That of a lifetime.  

5) I love the language.  I know, I'm weird.  But, I do.  I enjoy learning and speaking Hindi.  It's fun!

6) I love when the power goes out during worship and no one skips a beat.  Just as loudly as they were belting it out before, they continue, like nothing ever happened.  It's powerful.  And I love worshiping here.

7) I love the simplicity.  The fact that everyone naps in the afternoon.  No excuses.  The fact that everyone trusts everyone in some strange way to pay later if you don't have exact change or to do a service for you and you don't have to pay ahead.  The fact that my clothes are ironed on the side of a dusty street by someone called a 'press wala', that I pick my veggies out at the local 'subzi wala', that Jason hand delivers the photos we want developed right down the street and it costs pennies, the fact that if you're walking down the road and you're thirsty, just be patient, someone will invite you in for snacks and a drink in no time.  

8) I love the fact that when people worship Jesus Christ, they truly worship Him.  With ALL that they are.  They know and understand the true meaning of sacrifice.  And they love Him all the more for it.

9) I love that at the end of each day, having just lived life is an accomplishment in itself.  

10) I love that just our very presence here brings light into a dark world.  Psalms 139:11-12 says, "If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light around me will be night' even the darkness is not dark to You. The night shies like the day; darnkess and light are alike to You." And yet, He's called us here to do so much more.  But, maybe that's the point.  That first, living our lives out loud and being immersed into a lost and dying culture is just the ticket to being able to do so much more.  

I love our country.  I really do.  I love that around every corner is a reminder of why we're here.  And that this place is changing me.  Or, better yet, that Christ is changing me in this place.  Big time.  Changing me? Is that why I came? Maybe so.  So that, having been changed, He can, in turn, use me to help to change this place.  

Final Week in the Mountains

We've been up here in this beautiful part of the country for almost six weeks now. God's creation here truly is beautiful. There are definitely plenty of things that frequently remind us we are still in quite the interesting country, but the touch of comfortableness has been refreshing.

It has also opened my eyes to what a very difficult city we live in. Which makes me nervous as to my reaction upon going back at the end of the week. I'm nervous about my attitude, my level of culture shock all over again, my girls and the lack of opportunities, the heat. All selfish worries but worries nonetheless.

I'm not gonna lie, during my time here I've questioned God a number of times on why He placed us in the city He chose. Especially after visiting the city which was our original destination. And every time I second guess His wisdom, I am reminded that He has a purpose and a plan for our lives. That purpose doesn't include the comforts of multitudes of like-minded people coming and going, or cute little coffee shops that play Christian music, or the comfort of western style clothing being acceptable. The minor comforts didn't fit His overall goal for my life. And so, with joy (I hope) and my hands toward the plow, I return to the place we call home and the people we are called to reach, hopefully with a renewed vision that its certainly not about my selfish desires. That's not why I'm here. And if it were, you'd find my on the first plane home. Instead, I AM on my way home. Just on my way to my home away from home.

Breakfast of Champions

Written in March 2013 while in the mountains. Never actually posted until now. :)

Just something comical that's on my mind. Something that, surprisingly, I actually find myself enjoying.

Before I left the States, my biggest concern about living in a foreign land was "How am I ever going to learn to feed my family?" I was really terrified. Anxious to get it right and do it well. So I prayed about that one concern quite a bit.

Much to my surprise (shouldn't be surprised at the way God always answers even our smallest of needs), I have found great joy (most days) in feeding my family. It's proven to me that I work better under pressure and secretly enjoy a challenge.

So, this morning Kamden asked for a simple slice of Nutella toast. In America, with my big toaster oven, diswasher, and spreadable butter, it may have taken 3 minutes max. Actually, I take that back, I probably would have tried desperately to persuade her to go back to sleep...it wasn't time to wake up yet...I probably would have lazily gathered the supplies, while checking facebook, turning on the tv or something else to keep her occupied while she waited, probably gone ahead and gotten dressed, put on my make up, and after 10-15 minutes (or more) lazily wandered to the kitchen to get what should have taken less than five minutes to accomplish.

Here, on the other hand, I laughed out loud as I realized the steps required to make her a piece of toast. And by the time breakfast for everyone was complete, this is what I had done:

-uncovered the fresh homemade bread that had been sitting on the counter overnight.
-sliced a couple pieces for each of us with a dull knife and no cutting board.
-warmed up the skillet and added a touch of butter because the toaster this place does have is trash.
-warmed two pieces at a time. No more will fit.
-set them out on plates and quickly add Nutella which is too cold to spread unless it is applied onto still warm toast.
-I wanted cinnamon butter toast, so I added butter to the frying pan again. (Again, too cold for the butter to simply spread onto the fragile homemade bread.)
-pour this mixture onto my toast.
-start the chai because the milk by itself just doesn't taste quite right all the time, no, make that, ever. ;)
-go ahead and eat standing up because if I don't my toast will get cold.
-pour tea for everyone. Yes, everyone. The girls love it and its a great thing to love about this country.
-finally sit down to eat the rest of my toast and enjoy my chai. With my family. Around a table. Until the girls wander outside to play and Jason & I crack open our books to study for a few hours.

I've sort of fallen in love with the more simple life. I'm not sure why we call it simple... ;) but I like it. I think often about what it will be like when we go back to visit the States. Will I fall back into prepackaged foods, microwaves, etc or will I be so used to things this way that it won't matter. It's fun to think about. Until then, you can find me in the kitchen figuring out a yummy dessert to make without an oven. ;)

Random Thoughts & Observations

Just a few random thoughts and observations:

1) God's creation is BEAUTIFUL. All over the world. Breathtakingly beautiful.

2) God's favorite creation (Humankind) is lost. Many dying without ever even knowing the love of a Savior!

3) This place is surreal. Unexplainable. Unique. Fun. Difficult. Adventurous. Yet Comfortable. And Cold. Can't forget Cold.

4) Americans have a heart language too. I'm proof. Because when we worshipped God in English in church this morning, I worshipped without words, because tears were streaming down my cheeks.

5) I miss worshipping with my church family. Actually I just miss my church family. Plain and simple. But especially worshipping with them. In that heart language.

6) We feel like we are thriving in a language school setting. So, thank you, those who give to make it possible. We are getting steps and steps closer to being able to share the gospel in their heart language.

7) Fellowship tonight with like-minded new friends was refreshing. Around a guitar. With songs chosen by our two girls. As the six of us just sat and praised our God.

8) Being a parent is hard. But being a parent to a TCK is ridiculously hard. Your prayers strongly needed for wisdom, grace, mercy, compassion, love, and success through and in spite of us. And, side note, what they've done in their short 5 & 7 years far surpasses anything I could have dreamed of doing. I am so proud of them. I just hope they know what amazing little people God created them to be.

9) I love my life. When I stop in my tracks from time to time missing my "old life", the Holy Spirit reminds me that I couldn't trade it for the world. Because for right here and right now God has created me for this. And I love it.

10) When it all boils down, and the desires I have start to fade away one by one, I am reminded that the only one worthy of remaining is the desire to please Him.

And, that's what's on my heavy heart tonight. Now back to language study! :)

The Day the Sun & the Moon Stood Still

Has anyone else ever burst into tears reading from a children's Bible about the story of the time that the sun & the moon stood still? This girl has!

This morning I woke up feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the fact that there's a million things I want to fit into each day and feeling like my time is so unorganized and like I'm just flying by the seat of my pants half the time. There's so many things I want to accomplish, so many things I want to excel in. And yet I feel like I'm floundering half the time. One friend described it as survival mode, which I totally understand. Another friend refers to it as "jack of all trades, master of none". Either way, I get it. And today it got me. I was bummed this morning.

So, I sit down to do our morning routine with the girls: calendar time, Bible verse song, and read a story from the children's Bible. This morning just happened to be "The sun and the moon stand still".

I got halfway through the story and the Holy Spirit hit me like a ton of bricks. I just started crying, couldn't read through my tears, and immediately realized this was just for me!

Kiley, of course, teared up with me because that's what she does every time I cry and Kamden snuggled up a little closer. When I was finally able to finish the story, Kiley asked why I was crying. It was exciting being able to explain that just like Joshua I can ask God to make the sun and the moon stand still. He may not do it in a literal sense, but He sure will help me organize my time in such a way that it feels like the world stopped just for me.

And that's just the God I serve! The Only One capable of making the sun & the moon stand still!

On the day the Lord gave the Amorites over to the Israelites, Joshua spoke to the Lord in the presence of Israel: “Sun, stand still over Gibeon, and moon, over the Valley of Aijalon.” And the sun stood still and the moon stopped until the nation took vengeance on its enemies. Isn’t this written in the Book of Jashar? So the sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed its setting almost a full day. (Joshua 10:12, 13 HCSB)

Wedding Fun

The invitation was hand delivered looking ever so beautiful. Printed in lovely font, the time... 3:00pm. Yay! Our first wedding invitation! We'd be sure to be all dolled up and ready on time!

Wrong! Thankfully, we were warned by the brother of the groom NOT to arrive on time but to be there by 3:30. After some family pics, we were now running even later and feeling HORRIBLE. 

Senseless. We arrived at 3:45--- the same time as the groom and his family! Shwew, not late at all. We all take our seats, and wait, and wait, and wait. 

Finally, at 5:00 the bride arrives, enters the church, and the wedding begins! Lesson learned... Indian time! ;)

BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

Today, Wednesday, January 30, 2013 will go down in history as the best day of my life. I'll attempt to recount the events of tonight to the best of my ability.

Tonight, after singing the girls' bedtime songs to them, I asked them to say their bedtime prayers together after I left. Needless to say, I stood outside the door and eavesdropped like any nosy Mom would do! ;)

The conversation went something like this:
Kiley- "I'll pray... Dear Jesus, thank you for this wonderful day today. I pray that tomorrow will be a wonderful day too..."
(I can't remember it all, but the ending is the best part anyway)
"and I pray that Kamden would accept you as her Savior. Amen."

Kamden- "Kiley, what did you pray about me?"

Kiley- "I prayed that you would accept Jesus as your Savior. Now Kamden, (speaking very sternly) TELL ME THE TRUTH... Do. Not. Lie. To. Me! Have you asked Jesus into your heart? Tell the truth!"

Kamden- "Yes."

Kiley- "Kamden, are you telling the truth? Have you accepted Jesus as your Savior?"

Kamden- "No. But I don't want to get baptized. It will hurt my nose and I'll get water all in it."

Kiley- " You don't have to get baptized if you don't want to... You just have to accept Jesus and decide to follow Him. Getting baptized won't save you. Do you want to do that?"

Kamden- "I don't know how."

Kiley- "Well. Maybe in the morning when Mommy is doing your book with you (we do little devotions every morning) she can pray with you about it and tell you how."

Kamden- "How do you do it?"

Kiley- "You just have to pray and ask him..."

Kamden- "I pray."

Kiley- "Not just any prayer. Kind of like this... (She proceeds to pray one of the most theologically accurate sample salvation prayers I've heard-- asking forgiveness for sins, help me to do right, I want to follow you. I want to go to Heaven, etc.)

Kiley- "Do you want to do that?"

Kamden- "yes"

Kiley- "Ok. Go ahead. But, DON'T just copy me."

Kamden then proceeds to pray to accept Jesus into her sweet little heart the best way she knew how, being led to the foot of the cross by her, mature beyond her years, big sister.

After Kamden prayed, Kiley explained much better than I could what this meant in her life. She told her, "Now, Kamden, when you're tempted by the devil to go and play with that purple ball when Mommy is reading the Bible story, you'll think, 'I shouldn't do this' and you'll want to obey now."

By this point I'm bursting at the seams, but wanted the girls to be the ones to tell us what had happened... not fabricate anything in their little minds for them, I walked away and started telling Jason all that I had overheard. Hoping and praying they would not wait until morning to share the big news with us. Within minutes, two little sweethearts walked out hand in hand and Kamden, with a huge grin on her face says, "Mommy! I did it! I accepted Jesus!"

We kept our composure the best we could while hugging and smiling and Jason took a few moments to chat with her about her level of understanding of the step she had just taken in her journey of faith.

Meanwhile, I chatted with Kiley who was bursting with excitement for her little sister (who the two of us had been praying for very recently).

-Little sidenote: Kiley's salvation story has been one that we have had to watch unfold over the years. For some time now, (about 2 years), she has been adamant about the fact that she prayed to receive Christ on her bedroom floor one night by herself. As a parent, it was difficult to not have been there to experience this for myself or really for anyone to have actually "lead" her to Christ. (Oh, me of little faith). So we have had numerous discussions regarding her faith and what it means to be a follower of Jesus. I'd say her passion for leading her little sister to Christ tonight was enough to remind this mama that "you will know them by their fruit."

Anyway, Kiley & I chatted about how she was now not only Kamden's big sister, but her big sister in Christ. And how she was the best person to disciple her being that she was young and understood her much better. (For those of you who know Kamden, she's quite the interesting one to try to understand ;)

So this led Kiley to decide to expand her little "Prayer time" spot she had made under her bed to include a spot for Kamden so that she could help her do her devotions there.

I could go on and on because there's so many neat little things that happened and there's so much joy overflowing in my heart! Tonight this verse rings true...

"I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 Jn. 1:4

And, now, will you pray with me that this will truly be the beginning of her walk with Christ as she continues to grow and understand all that Christ has done for her and in God's own timing and in their own ways, they would express the desire to follow Jesus in believers' baptism. And, with that, folks, I give you the story of our first 'decision for Christ'. I have dreamed of sharing this news since we knew we were leaving the States. Never did I dream it would be my own child!!!!

I Told You So

Today was a great day. Really. It was. But it definitely had its moments. You know... Those moments. They were small and really laughable and neat. Not like cry buckets type of moments. But, I've decided, I think it's my new ministry. To have 'moments' so that I can have a new blog post for you to read. So, I'll take one for the team! ;)

At one point today, I got a little down on myself thinking "What if I'm doing a horrible job making friends, and being a good neighbor, and doing all the right things. I mean, I'd never know because I can't understand them when they talk about me!" So I decided I would make chai and an American sweet for my landlady and take it to her. Well, of course, this consisted of being certain I was dressed appropriately. So I ventured off to get dressed. And I had one of those moments... I decided I hate the clothes here. Hate is a strong word but you understand, I was having one of those moments! So I pouted for a bit, made the dessert, and started the chai, and guess who shows up... My landlady! She ended up coming up here for a favor and I was able to surprise her with tea and snacks. And, believe it or not she loved the American sweet!!!! Which hasn't happened yet for her! And we had a really great time chatting and laughing about weddings and relatives and such! That was a cool thing from God.

Then, as her daughter joined us and everyone was hanging out in our home, I peeked in on the kids, and there sat the land lady's daughter, drawing a picture of a cross and asking me how to spell JESUS!!!! I was thrilled! I proceeded to tell her "Jesus loves you" and "Jesus loves Jasmine" and she proceeded to write "Jesus loves jasmine" Now THAT is a cool "I told you so" from God: "These silly little things you get all worked up over. I've got this!"

So that's the most amazing part! But yet another moment occurred. I was full of myself today, I'm tellin' ya! ;)

So, Jason brought home a special type of food today which meant I had to figure out a tasty way to prepare it. So, long story short, I deemed it a DISASTER. I was grumbling and complaining about how I'd been in the kitchen for an hour and a half and come out with nothing of any value. I set the food before everyone and when Kamden saw the meal, she said "I've been wishing for this since we left America!" I almost laughed out loud.... Until she scarfed down three full plates!!!! The girls couldn't stop eating it and were thrilled, calling me the best cook ever and such! Then, I really had to laugh out loud because Jason was already laughing and I knew God had to be! So I just sat there and decided to be the object lesson for the day telling the girls how I had been worried about the meal turning out at all and that God came through and made it "the best meal ever"! They, of course then started singing their latest Bible verse to/AT me "So do not worry saying 'what shall we EAT' or 'what shall we drink' or 'what shall we wear' for the pagans run after all these things and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them..."

I get it. ;)

Not a Cookie Cutter Christian

Written 1/10/2013

It's been a long time since I've posted. So much has happened. So much that I can't wrap my mind around the many emotions I've felt over this holiday season. That's part of the reason I haven't posted. Because each time I try, I can't put into words the feelings I've had, the things I've seen and experienced, and the lessons I've learned.

But today, aside from all of that, I have decided to write a post, inspired in part by the latest sermon I listened to via the web. I was reminded that we, as Christians, are so accustomed to putting on a cookie cutter image of what a Christian should look like and not allowing anyone to see our weaknesses. So true.

And so, today, I won't be writing about the Christmas blues or the strange way we celebrated our Savior's birth. Instead I'll post straight from my heart. My unclean, filthy heart.

My girls are memorizing some great verses through song (the Seeds series, it's fantastic). One song in particular stands out as I share my heart:

"Store up for yourself treasures in Heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:20-21

Now, I can read this verse and think to myself that I'm doing a pretty good job at following it completely. At least, I'm trying my best. But, today as I sat around a board game with my girls just doing my best to make them both happy, it becomes clear to me that much of my treasure is hidden in those two beautiful girls. I find myself saying too often "everything I do is for you" and then I realize that is not what God intended. He created me to serve Him. And he reminds me that I can not serve two masters. And so when I find myself focusing my time and attention on pleasing the people in my life, I realize I have made them a little higher than God. Sure, my intentions are good. My number one desire is for my girls to grow into godly women, but by focusing my full attention on them, I am not producing the same results as if I were to Focus on the Father.

Another verse that they recently memorized comes to mind now...

"... But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and ALL THESE THINGS WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU AS WELL..." Matthew 6:31-34

When I hear this verse being quoted from their sweet little mouths and I try to accurately depict what it means, it becomes clear that if I pursue God's kingdom and His righteousness first then along with that will come the things I worry so much about and try to control. But in pursuing them instead, I will lose out entirely. That goes for my relationship with my girls, their relationship with God and with each other and the world as well. ALL these things will be given to me IF I seek HIM first instead of them!

I love those precious girls and the amazing people they are becoming, but I was definitely knocked off my horse when I was faced with the realization that in doing so much of what I do for them, I in reality am doing it for the wrong person. It's when I step back and readjust my lens to focus on my relationship with the Father that everything else in life seems to become a whole lot clearer also!

Kiley's View

Kiley wrote this book for her Daddy as a "Christmas" gift. Since I've been so overwhelmed with too many different emotions, feelings, and thoughts to narrow anything down to a blog post, I'll share hers. She gave me permission, btw!