A Father's Heart

Last night as we were driving home from a friend's house, Jason & I sat and listened as Kiley and Kamden had their own little conversation. 

Jason whispers to me, "My favorite things about being a dad are #1 Watching them RUN and #2 Watching them interact with each other."

I chimed in about some of my favorite things about parenting these precious little girls and we both agreed that we LOVE being parents.

It didn't hit me until today that what Jason said made so much sense spiritually as well and that it fell right in line with Sunday morning's message on "A Great Comission Church".  I know there are a ton of things Jason loves about being a dad, but at the top of his list were these two simple things.  On the same note, I am positive God loves being our Father, and I am sure there are many things he loves.  But, I was reminded by Jason's number one love for his job as a dad that God loves it when we run too.

When we run to the ones in need.  When we run to the hurting, the helpless, the lost.  How often has God had the privilege of sitting back and smiling as He watches YOU run?

Steve Fee writes it this way:

I wanna be Your hands & feet.

I wanna be Your voice every time I speak.

I wanna run to the ones in need, in the name of Jesus.

I wanna give my life away, all for Your kingdom’s sake.

Shine a light in the darkest place, in the name of Jesus.

The Bible puts it like this:

 "How beautiful are the feet of those who announce the gospel of good things!"

Romans 10:15b

No matter how you look at it, we should be RUNNING to those who need salvation.  Not casually walking or taking our time.  And especially not going about our daily lives merely "hoping" an opportunity will just pop up out of nowhere to share our faith.  We should be actively seeking those opportunities out!

Jason's number two favorite comment caught me spiritually as well.  Doesn't our Father love for us to have true fellowship with other believers?  After, of course, we've run to spread the Gospel.  He desires for us to bring them in and then love on them.  No matter how unloveable they may be.

When I thought about what I loved most, one more thing popped into my mind.  I love it when my girls are out somewhere in public and they CHOOSE ME!!! It feels so great when they cling to me for just a second before dropping them off at church, or when they ask me to stay in their class.  Doesn't our Heavenly Father desire the same? For us to simply choose Him ABOVE ALL ELSE!!



Let's make our Father beam with pride: RUN, LOVE, and CHOOSE HIM!



Because He Lives

Wow! Tonight was one of a kind... 

Kiley had a bit of an interesting evening.  I'm still not certain what exactly was going on inside her little heart, but she struggled big time emotionally and behaviorally.  It was quite the challenge, but we got through it.

Because of all of the drama, I was late for church and faced teaching a lesson I felt terribly unprepared for.  Despite my insanity, God managed to prove Himself faithful and I made it through the lesson without dying! ;)

I chose to blog because when I was at my wit's end, the youth group praise band sang a song I've heard a MILLION times.  But tonight it hit home.  So, I wanted to share it with you because it may be just what you need as well. (By the way, believe me when I say that they nailed it!)

Because He Lives

(Verse 1)
God sent his son
They called him Jesus
He came to love
Heal and forgive
He lived and died
To buy my pardon
An empty grave
Is there to prove
My Savior lives

(Chorus)
Because he lives
I can face tomorrow
Because he lives
All fear is gone
Because I know
He holds the future
And life and is worth the living
Just because he lives

(Verse 2)
How sweet to hold
A newborn baby
And feel the pride
And joy he gives
But greater still
The calm assurance
This child can face
Uncertain days
Because he lives

(Verse 3)
And then one day
I'll cross the river
I'll fight life's fi-
Nal war with pain
And then as death
Gives way to victory
I'll see the lights
Of glory and
I'll know he lives

Verse two stood out to me tonight as I thought about the uncertainty in my little girl's life right now and the fact that she CAN face that because He does live.  I got the opportunity to hug on Kiley and reassure her tonight and even got to cuddle her till she fell asleep.  So thankful that I can rest assured that our future is bright because our Savior lives!!!


Nothing Better

There's nothing better than ending your night in a few simple ways.


 As I type, I sit next to my husband with his headphones on diligently practicing his Hindi.  This man is passionate about what God has called him to do and he puts his all into everything he does.  I'm one lucky girl!


Tonight was nothing out of the ordinary, but the quiet night in the Cockayne household allowed the girls to spend just a few special minutes as princesses dancing with their prince.

 Kamden lovin' on her daddy as they twirled.

 That look on his face as he adores his big girl, Kiley.

 Concentrating!

 Daddy steals a kiss just before the dance ends.

Who could ask for anything more?!

 

I better kick him off the laptop and get to work on my Hindi.  I can NOT let him beat me at that! ;0)

Be Kind, Please Rewind!

Most of us remember the famous sticker that used to be on all of our VHS tapes from the video store... "Be Kind, Please Rewind!"  If you have no clue what I'm talking about, you couldn't be old enough to be using a computer, could you? That couldn't have been that long ago, I'm simply not that old!

Speaking of VHS tapes, I'm still amazed daily at how far (for the good and the bad) technology has come! I love that we have the luxuries of texting, emailing, facebooking, blogging, skyping, and Magic Jacking (which I was just reminded of today and it lifted my spirits to think that I will possibly be able to have normal telephone conversations with the people I love back home).  But, I am somewhat of a traditionalist too.  You wouldn't think it by how much I take advantage of the modern day technology, but if I could choose a period of time to live in, I would love to go back to the front porch days, when your neighbors came to help you with your chores and everyone lived close enough to borrow eggs when needed.  I have a little piece of me that would enjoy being Amish! Just a few little secrets about me that not a lot of people may know.  :) Anyway, believe it or not, this is not the purpose of today's blog!

The title is actually referencing the fact that I wanted to take the time to share some more of the earlier miracles and confirmations that have taken place during the process we've been facing.  So, we're going to take a moment to REWIND!

The first one I want to share is a humorous one.  I love God's sense of humor and His way of confirming His plan for us.  Only days after beginning the application process and barely even realizing what was happening ourselves, a dear friend and wise woman approached me at church.  She acted like she wanted to say something very serious to me, but then she shook her head and said, 'No, now is not the time.' Of course I was curious and asked her what she was referring to.  She then made a very direct statement that God was doing something with Jason & myself in the area of [m].  WHAT??? I must have looked like a truck hit me when she said it because she quickly tried to grasp at the air and regather her words as if she'd never spoke them.  She saw the look on my face and said, 'I'm not saying you're going... I just think God is doing a work in your hearts.'  I would have loved to have blurted out what was going on and just how right she was, but at the time it was top-secret and truly only God, Jason & myself knew.  You may think that's a neat story and wonder how she knew when we felt we had kept everything so secret, and up to that point it truly had only been a few days since we'd even felt the call.  Well, it gets even more ironic. 

We then went to lunch with our children's pastor and close friend.  I had told Jason what had just happend and he was in shock and made the statement that he could never have kept a straight face.  Of course, God laughed at that and pulled another one on us.  Sitting at lunch, out of the blue, Luke says with a big grin on his face, 'You all are going to be [m's]! Kaitlyn & I talk about it all the time.' Thankfully, his phone rang immediately and he walked away from the table.  That allowed Jason & me time to pick our chins up off the floor and collect our thoughts! 

We had a lot of good laughs over those two instances and love that God chose to give us a little confirmation that what we were doing was exactly what we needed to do.  It was such a fun time finally sharing with those two friends how right their predictions were.  Since then, it's been proven that you simply can't fully hide what's on your heart.  So many people's first reactions when we told them were that they knew it was coming one day, maybe not so soon, but they could see our passion building and knew our hearts were headed in that direction.

There are SO many more amazing stories but I'll save your ears or your eyes or whatever you use to read these blogs and share more fun rewind stories later.  And, remember, Be Kind, Please Rewind! Because, when God does amazing stuff in our lives, He wants us to remember! 

More than Mere Coincidence

As most of you know, we have pretty well finalized our exact location.  We have yet to talk to a supervisor on the field. Needless to say, they are busy and schedules are conflicting, but we hope to do so soon.  But, today, as I'm emailing back and forth with a friend who just went through training for another country, I share with her our target location.  She replies with "No way! You won't believe it but I'm looking at pictures of that city now! We have people over there!" So, she gives me their names to hopefully connect with through facebook.  I call Jason immediately and tell him how cool it is that we've found names of people who could possibly be on our team.  Well, it doesn't stop there! When I tell him the names, he says, "No way! Honey, we know her!" It turns out one of the girls has visited here with her family as guest speakers! He's been in contact with her through email but didn't know her exact location. She is now on the field on the team that we will be on!! So, today, through the wonderful world of Skype, we got to make our first connection with someone on the field exactly where we'll be!

We got to ask her what her day to day life looked like.  She was very positive about how much we were going to love it over there! She shared with us how conservative this particular city is, and that although it has a population of over a million people, it still functions like more of a village! She shared that I would most likely dress more and more like the people there.  Which is something that will take some adjusting.  I can't put my finger on it, but for some reason, the way I dress seems like a difficult thing to get used to.  I had prepared myself for jeans and a tunic, that didn't seem too drastic of a change.  But finding out that often I would be in full "suit" is a little overwhelming right now!  Seems silly, doesn't it? Such a minor thing to make major! I enjoy change and newness and celebrate all that will come with it, but my clothes, well, that just seems harder to handle.  I don't stress about brand name, I don't dress overly trendy, and I don't make myself all fancy, so you would think it would be no big deal. But I do try to keep myself presentable and up to date and I like feeling put together, so I guess what I'm saying is I'm just trying to register the many changes that will take place in the next year, clothing just being one of the many! I've already started looking on the bright side: She said she bought a shirt the other day for a DOLLAR!!! Now that's my kind of shopping! So, all in all, it was an awesome opportunity to chat with someone who is over there and it really was a very encouraging conversation!!!

I can't wait to look back at this blog post as I'm sure I will laugh out loud at the thought that the way I dress even came across my mind! I'm fully aware that there will be so much culture shock that I won't know what hit me! But, I also know that this IS the plan for my life and so whatever the cost, WHATEVER the cost, I'm willing to go, to be changed, to be molded, to be stripped away, in order to hopefully one day make a difference.

Little Lulu

Today, my head has been a constant chatter... I feel like there are so many things God is teaching me or wanting to use me to help others with.  I'm not sure why I've been so overwhelmed with thinking about these things today, but it's been quite the busy day inside my head! Jason would say it's just me & LuLu having our typical conversations---He claims she's my other personality! ;) He's joked about that since we've been married and even bought me a VHS cartoon of a little girl named LuLu.  Anyway, back to reality!

I have had a lot on my mind and am not certain I can put it all into words.  First, for some updates... we received 100% approval to go forward with a job match today! WOO HOO! Just what we've been waiting for... some certainty! It's very exciting to be moving ahead in the process and be closer to the end result!  We hope to have even more details about our exact location as soon as possible.

So, back to what all I've been focusing on all day.  I've really been battling with the spiritual conversation I had recently with a friend.  I really feel like the Lord has laid some things on my heart to share, so I'm praying earnestly that I will have to opportunity to speak face to face with this person very soon.

I'm also blown away by the way God focuses on every minor detail of our lives.  We had a really neat thing happen today that was too cool to be a simple coincedence.  The group our teens are hoping to visit this summer in NYC actually took a trip themselves to the exact city that we are hoping to live in!!!  It's just so cool that God made that connection for us and it once again confirms the location to which we feel we are called. 

Another interesting random thought that's been invading my mind today is the idea of someone being two-faced.  Now, I realize there really are people (even "Christians") who purposefully deceive and seem to live two different lives.  But, it hit me today that we can all be somewhat 'two-faced' as Christians, unintentionally.  You see, isn't living the Christian life just trying our best to be like Christ? None of us are perfect, and it's impossible to attain perfection in this lifetime, so we are simply striving to be like Christ.  So when our flesh takes over, we do things that are exactly opposite of what the Spirit would have us to do.  Therefore, making us appear 'two-faced' to those around us.  Now, I am speaking in general and am definitely not stating this as a matter of fact, but if you look around you (and inside of you), you'll be reminded that it's very easy to fall back into your old ways when you are new at following Christ, goodness, it's easy even if you've been a Christian for a long time.  My point of reference for this conclusion that I've come to is this:

¹⁵ For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree with the law that it is good. ¹⁷ So now I am no longer the one doing it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good that I want to do, but I practice the evil that I do not want to do. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but it is the sin that lives in me.

Romans 7:15-20

So, the next time you consider calling someone 'two-faced', give them the benefit of the doubt.  Hopefully they are like so many of us, just trying to work out our own salvation one lesson at a time.

On top of all of this, I began reading in Daniel today.  I think it's possibly one of my favorite Old Testament books.  I just absolutely LOVE Daniel 3:17-18.  I'm pumped about what all I'm noticing in what I've read so far.  It's so cool how God was watching out for Daniel and his friends because of how bold they were to stand up for what they believed in.  I just love it and want to be just like them!

That pretty much skims the surface of where all my mind has gone today! If I shared every single thought, you'd probably start calling me LuLu too! ;)

Overwhelmed

Wow! Today, Jason had the opportunity to speak to some very dear friends.  It was such a WONDERFUL time being with old friends and being reminded of their love for us, and of how God has provided such a great group of supporters for us.  The people of Nehemiah are dear to our hearts and it meant so much to be able to spend the day with them. 
Overwhelmed... by their love.

We made the trip back home after an enjoyable lunch and more visiting and came home to some peace and quiet.  Well, as much peace as can be when both girls slept the whole way home and were full of energy! The low part of the day came when we started discussing birthdays.  I must say, I'm obviously new to this whole idea of moving across the world and explaining it to my children.  So far, so good... for the most part.  But, today didn't go quite as well as usual.  Kamden (our 3 year old) understandably had a hard time understanding that this year's birthdays wouldn't be all about toys and gifts.  Satan knew just the right buttons to push to make me feel the guilt of putting my children through this and also the guilt of expecting 'perfect' kids who willingly surrender every last drop of life for the sake of others.  I do need to add that, for the most part, the girls are ECSTATIC to be going and are handling it all so well.  Kiley (our five year old) is behaving far beyond her years and Kamden (when toys aren't in the discussion) shouts with excitement about it all. 
Overwhelmed... by daily life challenges.

I also had the interesting opportunity to have a conversation with a lost person today through facebook.  It was not a pleasant ending and I will leave it at that.
Overwhelmed... by the lostness that surrounds us.

We ended the night just hanging out as a fam.  The girls burned off some energy doing gymnastics and 'exercising' through the house.  They even talked Daddy into hopping down the hall which ended quite humorously when he landed on his slick pants and fell right in the floor.  I watched as Kiley comforted him and cuddled him and I sat back and laughed! We played some Princess Yahtzee together which was priceless time well spent and sent the girls off to bed with smiles on their little faces. 
Overwhelmed... by God's blessings on me.

So, as the day comes to a close, I look back and am reminded that in each event there was something to be learned and something to be treasured. 

Nothing But the Blood

We took a short trip to visit my parents in WV because Kiley  had a 4 day weekend. The awesome part is that we woke up this morning to some snow! (Of course, the amount of snow was about what a Floridian would get excited about, but it made the day of our 5 & 3 year old girls!) So, that meant Mommy spent 30 minutes getting everyone dressed and ready for snow and surprisingly talked EVERYONE into joining in the fun (even MawMaw)!





PawPaw got started right away by loading up the four-wheeler with a wooden sled for the girls to ride around the yard in.  It's amazing what grandparents will do for their grandchildren (his yard now looks like a muddy mess but he doesn't seem to mind!)

After a number of laps around the yard, some snow angels, and attempting to 'surf' while being pulled by the four-wheeler, Jason took the girls to the top of the mountain for some sledding! I couldn't believe Kiley's bravery.  I was sure they would come flying off of the sled at one point!





I saved my favorite memory of the morning for last and it's also the inspiration for the title of today's blog.  After being outside only a few minutes, Kamden randomly starts singing in her sweet little voice "Nothing but the blood of Jesus!" Wow! In her little mind, she saw snow and immediately thought of that wonderful hymn that reminds us that Christ's blood makes us white as snow! She couldn't stop singing it and kept walking me to different spots in the yard that still had some snow (since we'd melted most of it away with the sled) just to sing it again.  It's amazing what sponges they are and I'm thankful that her mind & heart are being filled with truths like this one.  I only regret that my own first thought wasn't the same as hers.  So, I guess that's why the Bible tells us to become like little children! Enjoy this video clip of her singing sweetly and let it remind you that HE makes all things new!





Our Opening Chapter

I've always wanted to be a blogger and feel like I post enough statuses on facebook to practically consider that a blog as it is. ;) But, with the latest adventure we are facing, I have finally decided it is time to dive in head first to the world of blogging. I'm making no promises that it will be creative, exciting, or hold your interest. I do promise, however, that it will be filled with lots of info on the4cokes and how things are progressing in our everyday life.

So, it only makes sense to start by explaining as much of our new journey as possible. As a child, I (Angel) felt called to do work in foreign countries. After attending college and meeting my best friend, I realized that the plan was for us to begin working with youth as that was Jason's major and his passion. We can say with certainty that we have been right in the center of God's will for our lives these past 8 years. If you'd asked us as recent as one year ago if we ever imagined ourselves anywhere other than Roanoke, VA, we would have laughed our heads off. But, stuff was happening behind the scenes all along to bring us to this place of total surrender.

Seperately, Jason & I began to feel a tugging on our hearts for the nations. Jason began a series studying it and teaching it to our youth. Little did our youth leaders know when they suggested that series that Jason would be preaching to himself. Soon after he began to teach our teens about the needs around the world it became obvious to both of us that this was exactly what was in store for our family. Thankfully, it was so clear that we had no choice but to obey. And so, the process began!

Looking back over our lives, we are able to see so many details that have been laid out so perfectly bringing us to the place we are today. (I'll save all of those little miracles for a later blog!) Every day we see miracle after miracle and prayer after prayer answered. Right down to the minor details like Kiley's bloodwork coming in on time and job matches making sense to us amidst all the jibberish and confusion that we didn't understand.

I can't tell you WHY we've been chosen to start this journey. I've never felt more unworthy and incapable, yet it's the most obvious step in my life to follow Him and what He is calling us to do! I'm excited mostly to see how in the world He is going to use little ol' me and how he is going to change me, mold me, and strip me away. My true desire is Phil. 3:10 for my life. I realize I cannot say that lightly and that daily I must surrender to that goal.

So, the "details" as we know them right now... We are in the process of being accepted to work overseas at this time. We are nearing the end with only our references and formalities left to go. And, yes, plenty of people have threatened to have a little talk with our references in an attempt to keep us home. Jokingly, of course. At least, I hope! ;) But, after these things clear, we hope to begin training toward the end of July and head to our new home in the fall! I simply can't believe it when I hear myself say it! That's 7 short and jam-packed months! Ahhh! We HOPE to know a specific location by the middle of this month. I feel like when that happens, the planning stages will be in full swing as we learn more about the actual city we will be living in.

As for our families, though they are saddened, they are supportive. My (Angel's) family has ALWAYS been our biggest fans and we are so thankful that, through their pain, they are supporting us wholeheartedly (even calling about plane tickets already! Yippee!) I am realizing more now than ever what Godly parents I have. When they knew that we knew this was what we HAD to do, they gave us their blessing and their support! I want to be just like them when I grow up! ;)

As for our girls, they've never been happier! They ask daily when we get to go and cheer when we talk about it. We are blessed. God has been working in their little hearts from day one as well and sometimes they are 'bigger' than we are about the whole thing. I love all the little comments that they've made and how excited they are when they tell their friends. Needless to say, I'm aware hard times will come for all of us, but it's wonderful to have such a good start to such a big adventure.

Well, that's just about it this time around. I can't wait to share more of the neat little stories and details with you all! Thanks for reading!

-angel