I recently had the opportunity to do a self-evaluation. Those opportunities rarely come easily, and aren't usually welcomed, but when they come, they're important. Is my life really a living fairy tale? I pondered that question and decided emphatically, YES! It is! It's the very story God has written for my life. But, is it without burden? Without care? Without tears and sin and sadness? Emphatically NO!
My fairy tale is complete with a husband who has sustained two back surgeries in a number of months leaving him unable to carry his twin sons, unable to help with lifting them, rocking them, changing their diapers, bending to feed them, the list goes on. It also includes parenting a little girl who is suffering from the scars of being hurt by someone she was close to, another little girl with an amazingly beautiful personality yet shows signs of a low self esteem at times and struggles with building close friendships, a little boy who may have issues walking, another little boy who rarely lets me put him down, a house filled with problems and ACs that break down weekly. An emotional wound that still hasn't healed.
And, would I ask God to change any of this? Well, honestly, yes. I would love to have a husband who is whole again. Would I want to reverse what it's done for our family, though? Absolutely not!
My fairy tale is complete with a husband who has sustained two back surgeries in a number of months leaving him unable to carry his twin sons, unable to help with lifting them, rocking them, changing their diapers, bending to feed them, the list goes on. It also includes parenting a little girl who is suffering from the scars of being hurt by someone she was close to, another little girl with an amazingly beautiful personality yet shows signs of a low self esteem at times and struggles with building close friendships, a little boy who may have issues walking, another little boy who rarely lets me put him down, a house filled with problems and ACs that break down weekly. An emotional wound that still hasn't healed.
And, would I ask God to change any of this? Well, honestly, yes. I would love to have a husband who is whole again. Would I want to reverse what it's done for our family, though? Absolutely not!
Through these burdens, I've learned what it really means to love "in sickness and in health". Let me tell you, for a year and a half, and even recently on occasion, I battled a bad attitude, a resentment toward my husband for his situation. I served well, but I served with a miserable spirit. And, so, through that back pain, I feel like I know now what it really means to love well. And all the while he's been faithful to me.
Was having twin boys in a foreign country with multiple high risk issues an easy task? Of course not! Would I trade their story? No! It's what makes them (and me) who we are!
So, am I living a fairy tale? YES! I looked up the definition and found that one of them is "a story of extreme happiness". And, praise God, I'm living there!
Thanks for asking!
-The 4 Cokes
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