The Perfect Storm

Maybe it was the realization that I would be missing my final cell group with the amazing group of teens I've fallen in love with.

Maybe it was the fact that my house is full of junk and it can't disappear fast enough.

Maybe it was the one day I got to spend with my parents rather than the one month I wish it was.

Maybe it was the girls' crocodile tears when they dropped us off at the airport.

Maybe it was taking off in an airplane and playing out the scenario in my mind that will be taking place in only a few short months.

Maybe it was the excitement that I felt that was weaved so strongly throughout all of those emotions.

Maybe it was the realization that (even though I've never been able to predict my children's future) I now have no idea what that looks like for them.

But, the final straw was when the one part of my life that I felt was certain...The Past... was abruptly interrupted.

I've grown quite familiar with the unknown, even, dare I say, fond of it. Excited about it. And just when I thought I had a short section of my life, specifically my children's lives, intact, it vanishes.

Last night I discovered that the "baby books" I'd been keeping track of on the computer and in my notes on my phone had somehow been erased. The motherly guilt kicked in as my mind took me to their adult lives and even the days now when they frequently ask "tell me a story about when I was a baby!" and I would pull out that list and we would all laugh at the memories.

As I type it out or say it outloud, it becomes quite trivial and I realize that in the broad scheme of things, it's nothing. But, to this mom, it's a huge request. That those files would somehow be recovered. Because God cares about every detail of our lives, I know He cares about this.