Today is no different. We have packed up yet another house, sold the majority of our earthly possessions, said goodbye to friends we love dearly not knowing if we will meet again on this side of heaven, traveled across the world with jet lagging babies and a husband unable to help for the most part, visited the Great Wall of China, been reunited with my parents and family, toured DC, entered back into a culture that was familiar yet strange to us, spent the holidays, said goodbye again, spent a week with like minded people who blessed us and encouraged us, said goodbye again, and through it all came out changed once again.
So, if my writing is shallow, it's because my thoughts are too deep to even make sense of.
I like to be positive. I really do try to speak positively. Speak life. But you can ask my poor husband- that is not always the case. Sometimes I lose it and throw the world's biggest pity party.
And, I'm going to be honest. I've had a lot to complain about lately. The above mentioned list is enough to make me sometimes want to throw in the towel and scream MERCY!!!! My sweet sister-in-law was joking with me about how she always heard growing up "well, at least you still have your health." And when health problems arose, she understood what they meant. Well, that's where we've been for the past two years and that's following a very difficult move to a new city.
But, I need to stop right there and admit that GODS GRACE IS, ALWAYS HAS BEEN, & ALWAYS WILL BE ENOUGH.
Oh, I don't always have to accept that truth. I can storm around pouting and Complaining and making sure everyone sees how bad I have it. But regardless, his grace is unchanging. He is enough!
Through this week I sat surrounded by people like me. People who have walked through the valley (I'm not a shouter but here's where I want to shout) they came out victorious!!!!!! They survived at times. They thrived at times. But God's grace was sufficient all the time!!!
So, as shallow as this may sound, I have to throw it out there that I have a huge blessing in my life right now. New baby beds! We splurged and (with my mom's help) we bought some ridiculously expensive portable cribs for the boys. They are incredibly light (7 lbs compared to the typical 25 lbs) and, wait for it, they have zippered sides! I never realized what a blessing that would be. So, this morning, I actually showered while my husband unzipped the side of the bed and let the baby walk right out! And I praised God this morning for zippers and a godly husband who has been patient while I've learned how to live in this trial.
And. Let me make it clear. That those babies. And this life. And this injured husband. And these beautiful children. And all the goodbyes. And the fact that I even have family, loved ones, people that it hurts to say goodbye to, makes me BLESSED!!!!!!! And, I know that some of you reading this would give your life for the blessings of children or a godly husband or living parents again. So please hear me that my heart aches for you. And I cherish these trials that are often some of our biggest blessings too!
No comments:
Post a Comment